Alberta Family Counselling Service

Family forms the most important part of an individual’s life. Any kind of tension in the family ties leads to depression and sorrow. Due to constantly increasing workloads and pressures to prove oneself, individuals hardly get time to spend with their family members. This leads to gap in communication and eventual fights. This is where the counseling service in Alberta  can help solve various emotional conflicts within the family.

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Out of the several issues, marriage is the most prominent, which requires delicate and skillful handling. The essentials of a good and sound marriage are love, communication, faith, trust, and commitment towards each other. The problems faced by the couples are better resolved when they are within the context of the couples’ relationship. A couple which is undergoing emotional turmoil seeks advice and help of professionals to smooth things between them. This kind of advice is called counseling.

When couples apply for counseling sessions, the counselor first tries to locate the problem. The counselors then try to mediate between the husband and the wife to bring out their opinions and points of difference. The counseling sessions provide the couples with the apt platform to talk about their views openly. This in turn facilitates them in understanding what the other was thinking and feeling all this while. The communication gap that was present at the starting of the counseling lessens with each successive session.

Marriage And Family Counseling in Alberta

A young couple relocates to a new area.  They are hundreds of miles away from family and friends.  The husband works full time and the wife is a stay at home mom.  They have been in their new area about 1 year.  The wife is becoming bored, lonely and depressed as she does not have any friends or significant social life.  Her husband talks alot about work when he comes home.  He then spends an inordinate amount of time talking on the phone with his work colleagues and friends that he has made.  He goes out frequently without his wife often staying out throught the wee hours of the morning.  Is this a case where marriage counseling is needed?

A gut reaction would be to answer this question as yes, absolutely. There are some serious and significant issues developing in this relationship.  A professional counselor should be able to identify the root of the problems that both individuals in this relationship are not seeing or have ignored.  Once these problems have been diagnosed then the counselor can establish a workable plan that will allow this couple to resolve these major issues.

In looking a little deeper at this situation marriage counseling may not be needed right away.  Why would I say that?  Well, we don'tknow if this couple has ever even discussed this situation or the problems that the wife is perceiving.  Hard to imagine but the husband may not even be aware that there is a problem.  If the wife never speaks up to express her feelings he may think everything is fine, so why change.  The first thing that needs to occur here is the wife needs to communicate to her husband how she feels and make him aware of these issues.  I know, it's hard to believe that he doesn't see it but some people are just that oblivious or just don't care OR she is putting up a good front and doesn't show that anything is wrong.

Another deeper issue in this situation is why doesn't this wife have any friends or why isn't she developing a social network of her own?  Has she made any attempt or effort to meet people and make friends?  If she is a stay at home mom with young kids then certainly there are play groups, play dates, support groups, child activity centers, and community events centered around children that she could become involved in in order to meet other like moms that may be in her situation.  Yes, the husband has issues in this relationship but the wife is relying solely on him for support.  She needs to make an effort to take care of herself. 

Is marriage counseling needed in this case.  I think there are several things this couple can do between themselves prior to iniating the help of a professional counselor.  If they are unable or unwilling to resolve their issues then I would recommend the help of a professional. 

Christian Counselors in the Church - Partners in Caring

In our Marriage Counseling Practice we often see couples whose In-Laws are causing problems in the marriage. Whether it is too close, or not close enough, In-Laws can turn into Out-Laws very quickly.

The problems don't always begin the same way. Sometimes there has been no "individuation" (becoming separate) on the part of the adult children. The Bible instructs couples to leave and cleave in order to become one flesh. This is not possible if the adult children do not separate in a healthy way from their parents. The parents may or may not be trying to hang on, but the results can be the same.

When adult children maintain a dependence on their parents after marriage, it interferes with the husband wife relationship. Even when it is disguised as asking for advice from a parent it can cause a division between the couple. If the wife looks to her father for help in making decisions, the husband can feel totally disrespected. He may feel that he (the husband) is not the primary male figure in the marriage.

Likewise if the husband is overly close with his mother the wife is unable to assume the role of nurturer and the number one woman in his life. This is especially true if the couple is living with the parents. This keeps them still in the role of a child.

When adult children receive money from their parents the help often comes with some sort of "strings" attached. This may be overt or covert. Maybe nothing is even said about it.

When parents disapprove of the "in-law "adult child, it puts their child in the middle between the parents and their spouse. The adult child's allegiance should always be to their spouse; number one after the Lord.

A case in point would be when Mary's parents are speaking disrespectfully about Mary's husband Tom behind his back. Rather than defending Tom, Mary should explain to her parents that it's not ok to talk about Tom that way. If Mary's parents continue, Mary should walk away.

If Mary's parents are disrespecting Tom in front of him Mary should get between her parents and Tom and boldly say, "If you continue talking about Tom this way, we will leave."

It is important for couples to keep their "marriage business" private. They should not be discussing their marital issues with their parents, family or friends.

These discussions should be limited to their Pastor, Christian Counselor, or one trusted friend that both spouses' agree on.

We recommend the book "Boundaries in Marriage" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

As the Bible says in Genesis 2:24, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Of course this applies for women as well.

In our Marriage Counseling practice, Marriage Rescue Associates, we regularly see couples who need help restructuring the family dynamic in order to "leave and cleave".

God's Blessing on your marriage. Let it be healthy and happy.

About Marriage Rescue Associates | Christian Marriage Counseling

With over 23 years of experience, Marriage Rescue Associates have discovered many effective methods for helping couples restore their family and marriages. As Christian Marriage Counselors, Marriage Rescue Associates can help construct solutions to rekindle love and rebuild trust that has been torn down by endless conflict, indifference, and unmet needs.

Don't let your marriage or family become another statistic when you can actually do something to change it.

Seek out Marriage Counseling from an experienced Marriage Counselor that understands your situation and makes you feel comfortable with them.

To learn more about Marriage Rescue Associates, visit us online at www.marriagerescue.org


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Marriage And Family Counselor in Stony Plain Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Stony Plain.

where to get marriage counseling

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Christian Counselors in the Church - Partners in Caring

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Stony Plain – What Support They Provide

When comes to marriage counseling, this is what any married couples should know.  Does marriage counseling really work? Billions of married couples have tried their luck at marriage counseling. Some have succeeded, and some have failed. If you can go into this with a positive attitude and true desire to restore your marriage, you can become another counseling success story. In this article, there are three things that you really need to know which is by setting a goal or objective, release emotional tension and require a team effort and mutual consent. I believe that your marriage counseling will really work if you read this article.

You can also refer the facts of marriage counseling in this web                                                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship_counseling

The very first thing that I want to talk about is by setting a goal or objective. For marriage counseling to work and be effective, couples or individuals must decide on at least one goal they would like to achieve such as you want your partner to learn how to listen to you or you also want to work out the differences between of both of you and become closer. So you be able to focus more on your problem and manage to fix your problem.

Next thing is about release emotional tension. It means that you must share all of your internal thoughts and feelings to each other and do not hide anything in your heart despite the bitter things in both of you. The most important of all to make the marriage counseling really work is honest between each other because honesty that will make your partner understand all your heart, or vice versa.

For your information, a marriage counseling that really work should have a good team effort and mutual consent. This means that married couples should put their effort in the right amount to achieve solutions to the problems in their marriage. It is unfair if you are the only one who put an effort however your partner just takes it for granted. Indirectly, those who follow this way will share all the advantages and disadvantages in dealing with their marital problems together.

As a conclusion, does marriage counseling really work? The answer is yes if you follow the right steps such as the following steps given above. After finish reading my article, nothing will change unless you take an action now. Don't you wait too long!

All the answers to your questions about this topic are available in SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY by Amy Waterman. CLICK HERE!

From Cary and Crystal Lake, IL: How Anger Destroys Families and How Counseling Can Help

Futurists predict that our youth will be unprepared in science and math to compete successfully in the global economy by 2010 unless we make drastic changes to public education today.

This is just one of the reasons why today's schools are implementing instructional coaches in the classroom, one of the fastest growing trends in education. The reason is because schools are faced with greater accountability than ever before and many school districts are seeking new methods of supporting professional development among teachers to strengthen teaching practice and improve student learning.

Districts are using coaches to help implement reform and focusing on particular critical areas such as math, science and reading. These new methods are intended to support broad implementation of best practices in classrooms.

There are other trends in education that have started at grass roots level in communities such as Sunset Park, in Brooklyn, New York. In that community alone, more than 15,000 kids drop out of school every year.

One woman named Joyce Mattera founded a charity organization called Children of the City in 1981 to reach out to kids in the community. Volunteers and began visiting children weekly to assess their needs and invite them to various community programs, helping them via academic support, life skills training and family counseling. Board members have helped the organization raise funds for this last year's Christmas gifts for more than 800 children.

Create Success is one program being used at Children of the City that is constantly being evaluated for needs and even better success. It is fast becoming a model sought after by other agencies.

High priority is placed on student's academic success with intense tutoring and daily personal homework help. They also provide students with counseling, and advocacy within the social systems such as courts, plus age-appropriate group and individual mentoring.

Trends will shape the future of educators and students globally. The future of America's education system, for example, according to futurist James Canton, is that "the quality of public education, in crisis today, will either propel or crash the future aspirations of the American workforce." It is also predicted that education is failing to prepare high-tech workers.

There is also a rise in the hispanic population in this country. Many of the kids in Brooklyn, New York, for instance, come from hispanic families who cannot afford help when their kids are not doing well at school.

Thanks to the Internet there is hope for the future of our education system. By the year 2040 the Internet should be available to people of all nations. By then futurists like Canton predict immediate, portable, transferable, in-demand knowledge sources on a scale equivalnet to the Library of Congress. It's eighth among the top ten trends of the new innovation economy.


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Professional Counseling Services in Innisfail Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Innisfail.

marriage and family counseling

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Christian Counselors in the Church - Partners in Caring

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Innisfail – What Support They Provide

In Christian homes when the husband does not assume his Spiritual Leader role a vacuum forms and often the wife is forced into being the leader. This is uncomfortable for the wife since God did not give her that responsibility. It can create a great deal of resentment in both the wife and also the husband who can interpret this as “control”.

When the wife is forced into filling this role it can often lead to being the leader in many other ways. Now there is real danger of inappropriate balance of control in the home.

In our Marriage Counseling practice we see this situation often. We are presented with couples that are not filling the roles that they were designed to fill. When we speak with the wife who is perceived as controlling by her husband, she often tells us that she would give anything to “get off the throne” and follow her husband, but he just won’t lead.

What can she do? What can he do? The first step is to understand who God has called us to be. God has called the husband to be the “servant leader” in the home, even going so far as to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ laid down His life for the Church. We see many husbands who would step in front of a bus for their wives but neglect to protect their wives in the day to day business of life.

There may be a number of reasons why he is not “stepping up to the plate” as leader. Oftentimes we see passive men marry more outgoing and active women. The man’s passivity becomes a serious problem in these relationships. He stays in his comfort zone, not realizing or caring what this is doing to the relationship. In this case, it is important for the wife to step aside and not lead; even if things fall through the cracks. The husband cannot fill a role that is already filled. He cannot lead if she is leading. It may seem very scary, but it is absolutely necessary to let him fill the role.

It may also be that she has always felt like she is the one who should be in control, thinking her husband as incapable of leading. It is particularly important for her to turn over the reins to her husband.

Sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the wife. Some men are just so passive that it would never dawn on them to be the leader. In this case it may require counseling from your Pastor or Marriage Counseling from a Christian Marriage Counselor.

So, what should the husband do? After realizing and understanding that this is his God given role, he will need to confront the fear of operating in the unknown. His job is to make sure that he understands who is in Christ. There are many good books written on this subject. God gives us the Grace to do what He calls us to do, so the husband is able to lead.

There are practical things that a Spiritual Leader does. He makes sure that he has his own personal time with God on a daily basis. That he “talks” with God on a regular basis. This includes more than just speaking to God (what we normally call praying) but listening as well. He himself needs to be strengthened before he can successfully lead others.

He is responsible for making sure he and his wife spend joint time with God. This can include Bible Study, prayer, attending a Church that fulfills both of them and making sure the whole family is included if there are children in the home.

He is also responsible for protecting the home from any outside bad influences or spiritual attacks.

He can also see that he and his wife become active in a small group at their Church. This will help surround the couple with fellow believers who are like minded and are there for each other.

This may seem like a big job, but God never gives us a job too big for us to handle.

We pray that your marriage fulfills God’s calling and that both you and your Spouse search out what God has in store for you. If you both are close to God, you will be close to each other.

Marriage Counseling – Develop The Understanding

A family is the building block of a society, and happy families make a healthier society. The main purpose of Marriage CounselingChattanooga is to make healthy relationship of marriages. Marriage counselling helps couples at all stages of married life, including a pre-marriage or post marriage. Relationship in balance is a top most company that offers best quality services to people who want to deal with marital problems. This counseling helps in improving relationships and resolving conflicts between couples. You should go over these three steps from marriage counselling which helps in saving your marriage: Communicate better and when necessary:

The main reason for marital failure is the lack of communication or miscommunication among couples and when difficulties arise, people stop doing proper communication with one another. So, a married relationship can't be saved when the couple can't communicate productively together. Whenever a new problem comes up, couples must communicate with each other and the standard of communication needs to be effective too. You should have to be listen to your partner carefully and discus your problems without any hesitation.

Decide to compromise: Marriage Counseling Chattanooga suggest you keep in mind that other areas of everyday living aren't that important at day's finish. If you select to compromise, you are allowing your respect and love for each other to possess a greater priority compared to the issue at hand. Be the first one to compromise and before very long, you'll both be prepared to meet in the middle.

Take the time to demonstrate more love and affection: Many marriages fail because of the fact people feel that they're not loved or properly taken care of by their partner. No matter the problem, you must keep in mind that feeling loved is essential.Couples Counseling Chattanooga providesservices that help couples to understand the basic components of the marriage.Whenever you want to do commitment with your partner then, it is always best to consult a couple counsellors in chattanooga. It should help you to identify the compatibility areas and areas of conflict that may arise after the marriage.

Marriage counselling services can help couples to begin their happy married life in good and positive way. This counseling helps in providing an environment where a couple can feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings with confidence.Christian Marriage Counseling Chattanooga helps in improving your relationship with spouse by straightening behavioral problems and correcting emotional and mental disorders.It offers assistance to a married couple on the basis of christian values and principles. This counselling will help couples to talk about the problems in their lives and find ways to resolve these problems.


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Family Counseling Center in Westlock Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Westlock.

relationship therapy

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Christian Counseling Versus Secular Counseling

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Westlock – What Support They Provide

When people get married, they never expect that squabbles and little arguments will come up from time to time, but they do. This is where marriage counseling comes in to help people solve those major or minor misunderstandings they might be having. Mostly this counseling is for newly weds because if you have already done fifty years together in a marriage, I hardly doubt you will need marriage counseling.

Free marriage counseling is available, mostly in your community or home church. Getting marriage counseling does not mean that you cannot understand each other it is just means that you want to understand each other better. Rushing into a divorce can become messing especially if there is love still lingering. There are several counselors who are available for free marriage counseling. They do not have to be your priest, however if your priest or pastor is doing a bang off job then stick to him. If the misunderstanding is not so big you might want to look for free advice first.

You can look through the internet for free advice or where you can get free marriage counseling especially if it is very important. Sustain a marriage and making sure it works is important. That is why if you are offered any kind of counseling advice even from your parents it is best you take it and try and work through it. Family is always important and if they decide they want to give you advice on your marriage then you should take it. They care for you and want things to go well for you and only you can make the marriage work if you heed to their advice.

Marriage Counseling - How to be the Spiritual Leader in your home

Most of the times family counseling NYC happens to take place in the presence of the whole family. In cases where the family faces problems due to a certain family member, often that member is not present at family counseling NYC. The therapist is the convener and mediates between each member giving them equal opportunity and time to relate family concerns and discuss best methods to overcome the same.

Family counseling NYC usually does not take a long time to start benefitting the family. More time may be required in case some members have to be individually counseled. At an approximate, it takes about 30 counseling sessions to complete the therapy. The therapists of family counseling NYC use different models based on theories as given below:

  • Behavioral theory is the cognitive analysis of the behavior of members in the family to a common situation
  • Using Gestalt rules relate to using principle factors that denote causes of family disruption

Most families experience distress and difficulty when parents are in conflict. This may happen due to excessive stress from work and sparing little time in their relationship. Consequently, they neglect the children and end up causing family tension and disturbance in interpersonal relationships. Family counseling NYC seeks to help establish bridging the gaps in communication and so improve interpersonal relationship. The family then can function as one group in harmony. Here are some tips to deal with problems that cause family discord:

  • Keep a healthy marital relationship as parents are the main strength which binds a family together.
  • Making adjustments and maintaining intimacy is necessary to grant focus to the children.
  • Spending quality time with the children ensures that they are emotionally secure.
  • Showing compassion and understanding helps you to concentrate on the family rather than on yourself.
  • Determine your potential in full and become more productive towards establishing greater relationships within your family.
  • Problems in parent – child relationships can be corrected by parents willing to hear out what their child has to tell them. Trying to bridge the gap in generation differences can ensure that your child is learning to become a responsible adult in the future.

You create an identity of yourself and cling to your basic beliefs about yourself. This helps you to anchor yourselves firmly. Changes in life situations and events can cause you to develop symptoms where you begin doubting yourself. Family counseling gives you a secure surrounding and makeshift arrangements to cope with the difficulties. You can rebuild and discover new ways as a family to keep together and be happy.visit us at spiral2grow, 260, Madison Avenue, (8 Floor), New York , NY 10016 or be feel to call us any time weekdays at 917-692-3867.


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Professional Counseling Services in Calgary Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Calgary.

gay couples counseling

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Marriage Counseling - How to be the Spiritual Leader in your home

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Calgary – What Support They Provide

Out of millions of couples all across the globe, there are many which are dragging a bad marriage. Most of them go for a divorce rather than solving the problems infecting their marriage. People often stay in an unhappy marriage until some kind of resentment builds. In that event, they start thinking of a divorce as the only solution. They just break their relationship without giving it try. At the same time, there are people who try everything to save their marriage before finally thinking of a divorce. Marriage counseling offers the perfect platform for the couples in an unhappy marriage.

Marriage counseling in India, though it was there at a casual level, was not taken seriously or professionally earlier. Actually, in India, people used to live in a joint family system and solutions to any marriage problems were found within the family system. However, these days joint families are breaking up and people are preferring nuclear family system. It has created more of social problems such as marital discords. In today's time, there is great requirement of professional marriage counseling.

Professional marriage counselors are well trained professionals having enough knowledge and experience to deal with such situations and to understand the psychology of the couple regarding problems in their marriage.

Common people often fail to understand the reasons to their problems in their marriage. A professional marriage counselor helps them understand the real problems and various ways to tackle the problem and see those things in different perspective.

Maintaining and saving marriage takes skills and proper effort on both sides. Marriage counseling experts teach the couples to resolve the conflicts in a positive and healthy manner.

Though there are not many marriage counselors around, you can find good marriage counseling in Delhi and Mumbai easily. You can search online for finding reliable Marriage Counselling services.

Seek Marriage Family Counseling Before You Decide on a Divorce

There are so many couples in the world who need the marriage counseling and if you think that you have some these kinds of problems then there is no need to shy and try to hide it is good for you and your husband if you take the help of any marriage counselor. The trend is somehow change and know there are so many marriage counselor are available but before going to select it is very important that counselor must have the license and also has the certificate of family and marriage counseling. The work of marriage counselor is some how same but their main purpose is help the couple and keep their relationship alive. There are so many couples who have lots of severe problems but after some sessions with the marriage counselor they resolve all of their issues, Marriage Counseling occurs on weekly basis, so you can attend these sessions without any problems. It is not a strange thing if a couple have some issues because each person ahs its own perspective and way to seeing things and sometime this thing create the conflict between the husband and wife so, if you want to learn that how to fight with these kind of issues so, join the Marriage Counseling because where you can learn how to tackle with these kind of issues that spoil your marriage and you can also learn there that how to appreciate your partner's unique way of thinking because this kind of small things strengthen the relationship also. the problem in marriage start when one partner start cheating with the other and start hiding his feelings and emotions with the other one, in this kind of situation marriage is going to suffer a lot as well as the couple themselves. In spite of the fact that this Is not a good thing for the marriage as well as it is also not good fro the person because in this kind of situation a person feel stressful and not able to deal in a proper way with other and cant do his work.


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Licensed Marriage And Family Therapist in Brooks Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Brooks.

catholic marriage counseling

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Marriage Counseling – Develop The Understanding

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Brooks – What Support They Provide

Despite widespread protests and more than 19 states barring same sex marriages, many licensed professional counselors are now offering gay-lesbian-specific sessions and even pre marriage counseling. Whether it's called a "marriage," a "domestic partnership" or a "civil union," this new market is opening to ensure healthy relationships and normalized households. As more gay couples opt for adoption and child rearing, it's become increasingly more important for a family marriage counselor to offer same sex couple services too.

In some ways, a same sex marriage will suffer the same trials and tribulations as their heterosexual counterpart, as both will argue about finances, power struggles, household chores, child rearing, autonomy and intimacy. Also, a 2008 study by the American Psychological Association found that same sex couples are just as happy and committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples.

However, researchers have also noted that civil marriages of gay and lesbian couples showcase different conflict styles. Same sex marriages researcher and author Esther Rosenblum found that "Same-sex couples tend to use effective arguing. They give each other a fair hearing, and their conflicts are brief and quickly forgotten. Heterosexual couples argue ineffectively.

Their conflicts are more frustrating and don't get solved for days." She adds that gay and lesbian couples come from the same cultural backgrounds, which makes it easier for them to resolve conflicts. "When women argue, they tend to focus on the relationship, and when men argue, they tend to focus on logic and problem solving," she explains.

Therapy for same sex marriages can help a couple stay together, says Michael Halyard, who runs a gay-lesbian-bisexual couples retreat center and clinic in San Francisco, California. He says that pre marriage therapy helps gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples withstand challenges, improve communication, deepen intimacy and improve patterns of relating. "If couples designate just a fraction of their wedding budget on premarital counseling, it could go a long way to ensure them living happily ever after, and is money well-spent," says Halyard. More information can be found at Sftherapy website.

Marriage Counseling – Develop The Understanding

I discovered psychology when I was a university freshman, many years ago. I loved everything about that first course, even the multiple choice tests and especially the section about counseling. Religion was not mentioned in the course, except in a negative way, but in my mind, I could see glimpses of how this newly-discovered field of study could have an impact on the church. I was surprised to discover that my old Sunday School teacher was not enamored with psychology like I was, but my interest grew as I took more courses and eventually decided to study further in graduate school.

In those days nobody talked about the integration of psychology and theology. Christian counseling was not a term that I heard often. My efforts to link my faith with my emerging career were guided by writers in the field of pastoral psychology. Most of these were more liberal theologically than I was but they wrote about ways in which psychological insights could help church-based counselors understand and better deal with issues like depression, interpersonal conflict, panic, and grief. The anti-psychology polemicists had not begun their angry campaigns against Christians in this field so I entered my profession never doubting that Christian counseling, guided by the Holy Spirit and informed by the Holy Scriptures, could be a powerful Christ-honoring tool for helping us do good to all people, especially to fellow believers (Gal. 6:10).

Over the years I have never wavered in my belief that Christian counseling has a lot to contribute to the church. I believe even more that the church makes a crucial contribution to the power and impact of Christian counseling.

*The Church Needs Christian Counselors*
Many Christian leaders still wonder why the church needs counselors. Is not good preaching and discipleship enough? Is not Christ sufficient to meet all human needs? Could not the efforts of dedicated church elders and other leaders eliminate the need for counselors? Do not the Scriptures tell us that believers have everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness? (2 Peter 1:3) Why would the church need counselors like us? We must begin our answer by looking to God's Word. Jesus was a teacher and a preacher, but he also was an effective counselor. He talked one-on-one to the woman at the well. He counseled Martha about her busy lifestyle, and talked tenderly to a woman caught in adultery. Late one night he helped Nicodemus with his spiritual struggles. Often Jesus talked with people privately, shared their hurts, gave encouragement, and guided as they coped with their problems. Sometimes he helped people find forgiveness. He asked questions, listened carefully, and often told stories that left people free to draw their own conclusions. When two of his followers were grappling with their grief and confusion on the road to Damascus, he spent time with them, listened to them, and showed them what Scripture said about their uncertainties.

In the early church and throughout the New Testament we see personal helping modeled and encouraged. Paul, for example, gave sensitive guidance and mentoring to Timothy. Barnabas was a consistent encourager. The epistles overflow with principles for living, guidelines for solving problems, and instructions for individuals with tension in their lives. More than 50 times we read one another passages. Bear one anothers burdens, we are told, encourage one another, care for one another, be kind to one another, serve one another. Of course these words are not directed to a special group known as counselors. These instructions are for all Christians, but they are teachings that encourage the type of help, support, and care giving that counselors have the calling, time, and special training to provide. There are those who say that counseling does not help. Sometimes it does not. But many people can tell encouraging stories about ways in which they have been changed by counselors who are trained to understand problems, teach communication skills, help people get along, and show how to deal with inner conflicts and pain left over from the past.

The best trained counselors recognize the influence of biology and appreciate the role that body chemicals play, sometimes creating havoc in Christian homes and individual lives. We need to remind church leaders that literally thousands of scientific research studies have examined the work of counselors and demonstrated their effectiveness. It is true, of course, that God does not need counselors for the advancement of his kingdom. Neither does he need teachers, physicians, preachers or anybody else.

In his sovereign wisdom, However, he uses mortals like us to accomplish his purposes. He could give us instant knowledge of all truth and could bestow wisdom like he gave Solomon; but he has chosen instead to work most often through godly teachers. He could heal all our diseases in an instant and sometimes he does, but for reasons that we do not fully comprehend, he brings most physical healing through the skillful hands of scientifically trained doctors and nurses. He could evangelize the world with the blink of an eye, but instead he has given this responsibility to evangelists, pastors, and faithful followers of Christ charged with the duty to go forth and make disciples. Instantaneously, God could wipe away all depression, anxiety, inner turmoil and interpersonal conflicts, but often he works through compassionate human beings with the gifts of encouragement, discernment, and counseling.

How then, do these counselors strengthen the church? First, counselors free pastors and other church leaders for the overall work of the ministry. Most pastors would agree: the demands of ministry gulp up large quantities of time and leave few hours for the concentrated care giving that counseling often demands. But no one person is called or equipped to do everything not even the pastor. Romans 12 and 1 Corinthians 12 teach that members of the body have different spiritual gifts and responsibilities. Counselors use their gifts to help people, honor Christ, and strengthen Christians in their churches. Counselors also help pastors, missionaries, and other church leaders deal with difficulties in their own lives. Recently I attended a large conference on church leadership led by two prominent evangelical pastors. During their messages, both mentioned how Christian counselors had helped in times of special difficulty and rejuvenated their ministries as a result. One described how a counselor had helped when the demands of ministry almost destroyed his marriage. The other talked about the time he hit bottom, burned out emotionally, physically and spiritually.

With the support of his church board he took time off, got help from a Christian therapist, and learned to pace himself for the effective ministry that he has today. Where do church leaders go when they need help? What if a pastor or missionary is struggling with a failing marriage, uncontrolled kids, hostile criticism, deep feelings of failure, insecurity, bitterness, or lust? Sometimes the best counselor is the person who can be objective, available, and trained to deal with the unique problems that may be draining energy, vitality, and effectiveness from Gods chosen servants. Christian counselors also can (and should) give support and encouragement to their spiritual leaders. This is one of the things we can do best, but I wonder how many of us take the time to come alongside our pastors or other Christian leaders to give a little inspiration and encouragement. Even when they are not having problems in their own lives or with counselees, church leaders need to know that people like us care enough to say with our words and our presence, Well done...I am standing with you. Christian Counselors have their own unique healing ministries that can strengthen the Body of Christ. Counselors have Counselors use their gifts to help people, honor Christ, and strengthen Christians in their churches.

As part of their in-depth training, counselors learn special helping skills. They have knowledge about the nature of common emotional problems like depression or anxiety, familiarity with the impact of biology on behavior, and expertise in handling faltering marriages or dealing with interpersonal conflict. Some suggest that counselors take a paraclete role, being used by the Holy Spirit to come alongside struggling people to bring special comfort, guidance, encouragement, and sometimes confrontation.

*Christian Counselors Need the Church*
One of the greatest weaknesses in the development of professional Christian counseling has been our movement away from the church. This has happened for at least three reasons. First, attitudes in some churches have driven counselors away. When church leaders condemn professional counselors and urge church members to avoid counseling, is it any wonder that some have set up their practices away from the church? Second, the mental health professions have encouraged independence. These attitudes are now changing, but for many years secular organizations and professionals have tended to distrust religion, proclaim the Importance of professional objectivity, and warned against dual relationships such as those that might occur in church settings. Influenced by managed care companies, state licensing agencies, ethical guidelines and the desire to be as professional as possible, many Christian counselors have concluded that their practices should be completely separate from the church just as medical or legal practices are independent.

Third, sometimes the movement away from the church has come because of the attitudes of counselors themselves. Some of us have kept our counseling and our Christianity compartmentalized because we do not know how to bring the two together, do not want to bring them together, fear being accused of proselytizing, or do not want our beliefs to impact our therapy adversely. But Christian counselors ignore the church at their own peril. We are members of the body of Christ. Christian counselors need the church for encouragement, support, teaching, and worship. We cannot forsake meeting together with other believers (Heb. 10:25). For many years I attended church routinely but only within the past few years have I begun to fully appreciate the role that corporate worship plays in my life. I need it. When I am traveling and miss worship with other believers, I sense a vacuum in my life even if my personal devotional life is intact. Every Christian needs the church body even when our churches are not very worshipful. We need this more because of our kind of ministry. We are in the business of seeking to undo what the devil does best. Our work is a form of spiritual warfare. He is the father of lies; we seek to help people face the truth.

He divides people; we bring them together. He convinces them that life without God is best; we teach that life without God is futile and ultimately empty. He seeks to discourage us, distract us, sidetrack us, and prevent our effectiveness as counselors; we work with the knowledge that while the evil one is powerful in his activities, the one who is in us is greater than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). We are helpless to do this kind of ministry in our own strength. We need the body of believers to hold us up in prayer and support. If there are none in your church who do this, you are lacking a key ingredient for your Christian counseling effectiveness. In addition, Christian counselors need the church for accountability. We live in a culture where independence and individual achievement are lauded, even in many churches. We acclaim super-star pastors and applaud our heroes in sports, music, and even the Christian counseling profession. I have seen it up close in the Christian publishing industry. Publishers, readers, and talk show hosts tell writers how wonderful they are and in time these authors begin to believe their own press reports. Accountability goes out the door along with humility. Whether or not we are successful or famous, each of us needs Christian brothers and sisters to stand alongside us, challenge us, and keep us accountable for the ways in which we live our lives, care for our marriage, pare not our kids, spend our money, deal with our own sexuality, and relate to our
clients.

Christian counselors also need the church for the support and spiritual encouragement of our clients. I know a counselor who makes three requirements for all of his counselees. They need to see him for their weekly counseling sessions, be involved in some kind of small group, and attend at least one worship service a week. My friend believes that his counseling is more effective and long lasting when his clients are anchored in a local church. For some counselors this may not be feasible, but the churches impact for good in the lives of clients cannot be overemphasized. Here is therapist directory for your help.

*Winds of Change*
Our profession has come a long way since I took the freshman psychology course that eventually got me into Christian counseling. We still have a long way to go but the winds of change are blowing. Christians are recognizing that Christian counselors do serve a purpose especially when problems arise that common sense care giving does not seem to help. Counselors, in turn, are realizing that we need the church, desperately. Churches and counselors are in partnership like never before. This is the way it should be. I suspect this is Gods way.


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Marriage And Family Counselor in Banff Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Banff.

couples counseling near me

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Christian Counselors in the Church - Partners in Caring

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Banff – What Support They Provide

This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.

It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.

Stage One: Listening

Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.

Cerebral understanding is not enough.

Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.

This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.

Stage Two: Exploratory Listening

When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.

The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.

If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).

This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.

Stage Three: Doing Different Things

Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.

The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.

At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.

Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".

If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.

You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.

This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.

This process is almost entirely about listening.

The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.

Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.

With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.

Christian Counseling Versus Secular Counseling

The world is reeling under a host of problems, which, if allowed to fester, can bring about the destruction of nations and cultures. Drug addiction, terrorism, mal nutrition, poverty, sickness etc are the major threats to our well being, but comparatively lesser evils like non-compatibility in marriages and the resultant break-ups also can bring about the ultimate social downfall.


The importance of sustained marriages need not be overemphasised here. Like almost all problems faced by us, marriage related problems are also curable. It is easier said than done because marriage is the bringing together of two individuals with different mind sets, tastes and attitudes. At the marriage ceremony, the priest or the conductor tries to drive into the minds of the partners the necessity for adjustments and realignments in order to achieve a blissful married life.


Breaking up of families affects the children more than the adults. Such negative occurring creates an indelible mark on the impressionable minds of youngsters, thereby affecting their outlook towards married life. As a society, we attach great importance to living with the same partner through our lives, but many of us fail to achieve this desirable goal.


It is the realities in life that cause rift between husband and wife. In some cases, the partners are able to sort out everything amongst them, but in most occasions, they neither have the patience nor the inclination to work towards an agreement. In such cases, marriage family counselling by an expert is the only way out.


It is a fact that in many cases, such marriage family counsellors have actually succeeded to stop divorce. They try to drill into the heads of the warring parties that marriage is a journey together and conscious efforts need to be taken to make it a successful journey. The most common reasons for break-ups are infidelity by one or both partners, lack of understanding on issues affecting them, breaking up of communication channels, long distances in between and emotional abuse such as neglect. In some cases, it is just boredom that drives the partners apart.


Many marriages fall apart due to the lack of knowledge about professionals in the field of saving marriages. Experienced marriage family counsellors have actually mended fences, even in severe cases. The only stepping stone for many couples is the reluctance to enlist such professional help.


Couples can refer to marriage supporting tools like books and CDs brought out by well known marriage family counsellors to find ways to sort out problems. Attending marriage fitness camps, where the couple is made to interact with counsellors for long periods, may also help. Marriage fitness camps comprises of one-to-one phone sessions where both partners are counselled individually, with or without the presence of the other partner. Question and answer sessions, seminars and homework assignments (which should be completed by the partners together) are also part of such attempts to bring about peace between partners. E-mail sessions run by counsellors can also help to stop divorce.


A novel idea is the marriage fitness tele-boot camp where study and action material are delivered to your address. This is the best marriage counselling method where one of the partners is unwilling to get counselled in the presence of the other.


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Counseling Center in Black Diamond Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Black Diamond.

affordable couples counseling

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Marriage Counseling Article Number 12: Dealing With In-Laws

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Black Diamond – What Support They Provide

When comes to marriage counseling, this is what any married couples should know.  Does marriage counseling really work? Billions of married couples have tried their luck at marriage counseling. Some have succeeded, and some have failed. If you can go into this with a positive attitude and true desire to restore your marriage, you can become another counseling success story. In this article, there are three things that you really need to know which is by setting a goal or objective, release emotional tension and require a team effort and mutual consent. I believe that your marriage counseling will really work if you read this article.

You can also refer the facts of marriage counseling in this web                                                http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Relationship_counseling

The very first thing that I want to talk about is by setting a goal or objective. For marriage counseling to work and be effective, couples or individuals must decide on at least one goal they would like to achieve such as you want your partner to learn how to listen to you or you also want to work out the differences between of both of you and become closer. So you be able to focus more on your problem and manage to fix your problem.

Next thing is about release emotional tension. It means that you must share all of your internal thoughts and feelings to each other and do not hide anything in your heart despite the bitter things in both of you. The most important of all to make the marriage counseling really work is honest between each other because honesty that will make your partner understand all your heart, or vice versa.

For your information, a marriage counseling that really work should have a good team effort and mutual consent. This means that married couples should put their effort in the right amount to achieve solutions to the problems in their marriage. It is unfair if you are the only one who put an effort however your partner just takes it for granted. Indirectly, those who follow this way will share all the advantages and disadvantages in dealing with their marital problems together.

As a conclusion, does marriage counseling really work? The answer is yes if you follow the right steps such as the following steps given above. After finish reading my article, nothing will change unless you take an action now. Don't you wait too long!

All the answers to your questions about this topic are available in SAVE MY MARRIAGE TODAY by Amy Waterman. CLICK HERE!

Christian Counselors in the Church - Partners in Caring

QUALITIES OF THE COUNSELOR: Genuineness, Empathy, Warmth, Unconditional Positive Regard

Genuineness, empathy, warmth, and unconditional positive regard are the core counselor qualities. Some people possess these qualities because of their philosophy and personality. Others can develop them through awareness and practice.

genuineness

By genuineness I am referring to sincerity, and this is something that is conveyed by means of eye contact and facial expression. I am communicating non-verbally that what my client has to say is of the greatest importance and I am truly interested in it. So I speak of genuineness as opposed to being mechanical; a counselor who uses stock phrases or who uses too much or misplaced humour and does not take the client seriously enough is not going to be able to come across with genuineness and sincerity.

Being real; genuine. Which carries along with it the importance of being one's self instead of putting on some kind of role. In other words the way you are as a counselor in terms of your overall style and the way you come across needs to be the way you are in any relationship or situation. It is not a role, or a hat that you put on and take off. Insincerity may be communicated when the counselor looks away, being easily distracted, looking at his watch, yawning; showing by these behaviours that he really is not interested in the client's issues.

Is this sincerity and genuineness a cultural thing? Or is it cross-cultural? In North America there seems to be an emphasis on sincerity in relationships. If someone's not sincere in a relationship people don't like it as much, whereas in Europe there's more give-and-take and they take on roles more easily.

There may be different signals of sincerity. For example, in some cultures the emphasis on eye contact wouldn't be as great as in the Western culture. In native culture, or black culture, and some other cultures there's a noticeable lack of eye contact or different eye contact as compared to Western cultures. For example, in some non-white cultures, the person may look at you when talking and look away when listening which you may interpret as not listening if you are not aware of the custom. Eye contact can be different for men and women; women tend not to look men in the eyes, especially in some Eastern cultures which are patriarchal.

seating arrangement

Another point to make here is regarding seating arrangement and body language in counseling. In addition to frequent eye contact, sitting with your legs uncrossed and with your arms uncrossed resting on the arms of the chair, may communicate a relaxed openness to the client.

Also, in terms of the angle of the chairs, about a 100 degree or a little more than a 90 degree angle tends to maximize the comfort of the client because this allows him to look past the counselor without turning his head away. Whereas if chairs are directly facing each other, this tends to set up a sense of confrontation. The distance of the chairs should be no more than three feet and not closer than two feet. This range communicates support, whereas if the chairs are too close, I may communicate intrusiveness or if the chairs are too far apart, I may communicate a lack of support for the client. Non-verbal rapport is important to the counseling relationship.

empathy

The next quality is empathy. I am speaking specifically of accurate empathy, the ability to be connected to the feelings, to the emotions of the client. So if the client is feeling sad, the counselor needs to have a sense of that sadness and be able to mirror it in voice tone and facial expression.

For example, I had a client whose little boy was killed by a city utility truck, and as she talked about the incident she was feeling sad and I felt very sad as well. Now I think it was easy for me to connect because I have a little boy, and at the time he was six or so, about the age her little boy was. I found that I was able to feel very sad. In fact it was all I could do to keep from breaking down and crying.

A rule of thumb with your empathy is not to allow your own feelings of sadness to overshadow the expression of your client's sadness. So if I were to break down and cry and my client is just feeling sad, but not crying, then that may have a particular effect on my client. Can you imagine what that may be? She'd feel like she had to cry. She becomes a caregiver. So the roles get reversed. She could become the caregiver. The focus would be taken away from the client. Also, I may be seen as fragile and as someone who needed to be protected from the client's pain. So the client may tend to hold back her painful experiences for fear that I may break down and cry. I may appear to be overly sensitive and fragile.

Empathy is conveyed in non-verbal ways such as tearing or a frown if the client's feeling is sadness. Keep in mind that empathy must also be genuinely felt and genuinely mirrored. Any insincerity from the counselor will erode the client's feeling of safety.

Essentially I will be mirroring the emotional content or the emotions of my client whether the feeling is anger, sadness, fear, or some other feeling. Some counselors have said that empathy is the most therapeutic counselor quality because it lends support to the client's pain.

Empathy may also be conveyed verbally in the voice tone. And so I will speak with empathic reflections. This is a statement that reflects back what the client has been saying, accompanied by a feeling word. An empathic reflective statement would be, "So you're feeling sad because your good friend just moved away, is that what you're feeling?"

When you as the counselor show tears what does the client perceive? Is the client going to think you don't really understand or is he going to become defensive? If your tears are an accurate reflection of the client's feeling, and if your expression of feeling is a little bit less than the client's expression of feeling, your empathy is likely to be accepted as support. However, something else that may happen is that the client's own engagement of emotion is scary for him so that he withdraws. This is an issue of the client's not feeling safe with himself or perhaps with you, which I will speak about in a few minutes.

warmth

The next quality is warmth, and here I am talking about non-possessive warmth, as opposed to cool detachment. Warmth is caring that is conveyed in a soft and gentle voice tone and facial expression. Warmth may be conveyed in a non-verbal way and a non-possessive way. Now what would possessive warmth be? Smothering. Too touchy-feely. Smothering in that way. In a physical way, giving too much physical caring. Sometimes a counselor will like to give out hugs or want to hug a client more for the counselor's own needs than for the client. And so that can become possessive.

A female counselor was mentioning that she would touch and sometimes have it misread. It wasn't a prolonged contact, just a touch. So the client was interpreting any physical contact as something possessive. I want to talk about touching a little more when we get down to boundaries; touching is a boundary issue.

Verbal warmth can be experienced as possessive if it is excessive in terms of the warm voice tone or in terms of verbal content if it is overstated. This may be perceived as lacking sincerity or as superficial and shallow, or if it is perceived as sincere it is experienced as being too mothering and protective or condescending, treating the client too much as a child.

We can understand warmth by its opposite quality which is to be cold. In this case the voice tone is emotionally flat, detached and mechanical, and verbal content may tend to understate the client's plight. It is a style which communicates aloofness, distance, and unconcern.

unconditional positive regard

Another important attribute is unconditional positive regard. Some people believe that this is the most curative or therapeutic thing that a counselor can provide. This implies a particular mental attitude: that the client's problems and feelings are of the greatest importance. This session is the most important session for the client, and the client himself is as valuable as the most highly respected person on earth even if he does not believe that he is.

I am regarding the client's behaviour, no matter how self-destructive or even destructive of others it may be, as having a story behind it that allows it to make sense, that makes it understandable even though the client is responsible for choosing it.

The belief is that a person will make choices that are best for himself if he is aware of all the possible choices. If I have this ability to convey unconditional positive regard it is going to be possible for me to sincerely validate my client, to bring all my best ability and expertise to the session, to listen and focus on the client, to accept the client's pace and process of recovery.

That would be like having Charles Manson, the mass-murderer, as a client. Yes, he killed a lot of people, however, he does have the possibility or the potential for change. So he's here and my task is to help him to be the best person that he can be from what appears to be the worst.

You see the person as having intrinsic value apart from his behaviour, and you see his behaviour as having an understandable story behind it. And that will allow us to be able to remain in a helping position with our client. There may be some types of people, such as Charles Manson, that we would not be able to maintain an unconditional positive regard for. What are some other types of clients that you may have trouble with? Perhaps sexual offenders, serial killers, rapists, child abusers.

Could that perhaps be why they are some of the hardest to cure or change? It's hard to find people who are able to work with those types of individuals. It's difficult for a counselor to work in those circumstances and still separate himself to such an extent that he becomes a part of the solution rather than part of the problem. It can be a challenge to keep from reacting judgmentally and lose one's effectiveness in that way. So what should we do if we cannot maintain unconditional positive regard for a client? Have him seek someone else, perhaps. In this circumstance you might say, "I'm not sure I'll be able to help you as much as you may need." Make a referral and own it as your problem that you don't have the skills to help him.

When you say to the client, "I don't feel that I have the skills that you need to get the help that you need," you show you are accepting responsibility for your limitations, rather than blaming the client. Along with that goes the ability to be non-judgmental. I need to be able to regard the client's behaviour in terms of behaviours which work well and which do not work well for the client's functioning, rather than in moral terms. So we need to be aware of the range of judgmental terms to bee left out of the counseling relationship and left out of our counseling vocabulary.

Rather than say to a client, "Do you think that's wise or do you think that's right?" I'm going to say, "Does that work well for you?"

The question is what works well in relationships and what doesn't work well, rather than what behaviour is right or what behaviour is wrong. Terms like inconsiderate, or imprudent, or unwise, irresponsible, right or wrong, good or bad, are judgmental terms. Unconditional positive regard goes beyond being non-judgmental and most certainly includes being non-judgmental. The client usually brings too much self-judgment with him, so he does not need ours piled on top of his.

You have unconditional positive regard for the client to the degree you have it for yourself; that same degree for someone else. So I think it's a matter of degrees... possibly to realize how silly it would be and I'm at 60 or 70 percent of my ability to be non-judgmental and that's the way it is; and putting aside that and still being as totally open as possible. I mean there's no 100%.

There is a point where you choose not to be judgmental. I may feel judgmental but a client doesn't have to know that. I can choose not to express it; I can filter that out. The choice of leaving your stuff behind and going there without your stuff so it doesn't get in the way of your work with the client.

The client is already self-blaming enough; already bringing enough self-judgment and guilt with him, so he doesn't need your judgment of him. The dependent client may allow you to judge him and he will return to the session. In any case, judgment tends to erode safety.

The counselor can be viewed similar to a defence lawyer who is appointed by the court to defend and support the client. You can't make any judgments and you give unconditional support. It's as if the client tends to be his own prosecutor and presents the negative self-talk, for example.

It has to do with a fundamental view of humanity that everyone is sincere and well-intentioned and that people have problem behaviours for understandable reasons. In other words, a client may not have been responsible for beginning his unhealthy patterns that were adopted as a means of surviving painful life experiences. However, although the person was responsible for starting the patterns and although they seemed to work well during childhood for example, the client is responsible for perpetuating those patterns in adult life, and they do not work well now or he would not be in counseling. Maybe there was an abusive background or there was unhealthy parental modeling, there was a tragic loss of a loved one, for example, and these experiences resulted in some adaptive behaviour that does not work well in adult life and relationships.

There's always a story there that allows the client's behaviour or problems to make sense and that allows us to remain non-judgmental of the client and to maintain positive regard. I recently heard a counselor tell a client during the first session, "What are you complaining about? What are you complaining about now?" Well that's a very judgmental way to approach a client, to assign to her problems the word "complain" or "complaining."

Some counselors may justify that by saying they are trying to elicit a transference reaction. In my view what they are doing is abusing the client to encourage the expression of feelings the client has been unable to deal with. But the end does not justify the means. It does not justify a non-professional approach; a destructive, abusive approach which could harm the client. If I can not predict a therapeutic outcome of my statement, I am not engaging in professional counseling.


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Counseling Services in Edmonton Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Edmonton.

counseling marriage and family therapy

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

5 Types of Christian Counselors

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Edmonton – What Support They Provide

Marriage counseling retreats help troubled married couples in their quest to make their partnership work. These retreats are usually conducted for a period of 3 to 5 days where only the couple and therapist are present to talk about the failing marriage. Problems are dissected and analyzed and in the end, it is the therapist's goal to resolve these issues with the couple. The couple has to be open to the idea of counseling and must be participative and honest in the discussions. They have to be willing to talk things out and learn to accept all the faults and mistakes that would be laid out in the open.

One of the issues behind a rocky union is infidelity. It causes depression, pain, panic, confusion, distrust, and low self-esteem. In marriage counseling retreats, the therapist will guide the couples to let out these pent-up emotions, accept them, and eventually, move on from them. A program of action is designed for the couple to follow so as to heal completely  and happily face the future together.

Marriage counseling retreats are more effective than the usual weekly or monthly psychotherapy counseling because it involves a longer time and commitment of the counselor. The therapy is more intensive and structured, thus the root of the issues behind a failing marriage is extracted and deeply analyzed until the couple gets a thorough comprehension of these issues. Understanding the cause of the problem will allow acceptance and an action plan of change.

Unbelievably these marriage counseling retreats can repair badly-damaged unions and rekindle the love that was lost. It is not only the marriage that is being dissected but the individual personalities are analyzed so that both partners will understand their own selves more. It is not only a journey to reconciliation but also a journey to finding one's true self. It is not only about developing the couple as partners but it is also about nurturing each other's own identities.

The foundations of a marriage are most of the times threatened by external factors. Pride, infidelity, work, children, household concerns and even friends can add to the stress a married couple experience. Both partners have to be willing to make the marriage work on their own so as not to involve other people. But if they feel they cannot resolve it alone, they must make sure they see a skilled person to help them patch up. In this case a marriage counselor is the best person to be with.

Counseling - A Three Stage Process

This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.

It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.

Stage One: Listening

Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.

Cerebral understanding is not enough.

Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.

This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.

Stage Two: Exploratory Listening

When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.

The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.

If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).

This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.

Stage Three: Doing Different Things

Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.

The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.

At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.

Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".

If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.

You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.

This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.

This process is almost entirely about listening.

The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.

Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.

With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.


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Licensed Counselor in Grand Centre Alberta

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Grand Centre.

marriage couples counseling

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Counseling Theory

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Grand Centre – What Support They Provide

Despite widespread protests and more than 19 states barring same sex marriages, many licensed professional counselors are now offering gay-lesbian-specific sessions and even pre marriage counseling. Whether it's called a "marriage," a "domestic partnership" or a "civil union," this new market is opening to ensure healthy relationships and normalized households. As more gay couples opt for adoption and child rearing, it's become increasingly more important for a family marriage counselor to offer same sex couple services too.

In some ways, a same sex marriage will suffer the same trials and tribulations as their heterosexual counterpart, as both will argue about finances, power struggles, household chores, child rearing, autonomy and intimacy. Also, a 2008 study by the American Psychological Association found that same sex couples are just as happy and committed in their romantic relationships as heterosexual couples.

However, researchers have also noted that civil marriages of gay and lesbian couples showcase different conflict styles. Same sex marriages researcher and author Esther Rosenblum found that "Same-sex couples tend to use effective arguing. They give each other a fair hearing, and their conflicts are brief and quickly forgotten. Heterosexual couples argue ineffectively.

Their conflicts are more frustrating and don't get solved for days." She adds that gay and lesbian couples come from the same cultural backgrounds, which makes it easier for them to resolve conflicts. "When women argue, they tend to focus on the relationship, and when men argue, they tend to focus on logic and problem solving," she explains.

Therapy for same sex marriages can help a couple stay together, says Michael Halyard, who runs a gay-lesbian-bisexual couples retreat center and clinic in San Francisco, California. He says that pre marriage therapy helps gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples withstand challenges, improve communication, deepen intimacy and improve patterns of relating. "If couples designate just a fraction of their wedding budget on premarital counseling, it could go a long way to ensure them living happily ever after, and is money well-spent," says Halyard. More information can be found at Sftherapy website.

Marriage Counseling: Helps in Making Healthy Relationships

In our Marriage Counseling Practice we often see couples whose In-Laws are causing problems in the marriage. Whether it is too close, or not close enough, In-Laws can turn into Out-Laws very quickly.

The problems don't always begin the same way. Sometimes there has been no "individuation" (becoming separate) on the part of the adult children. The Bible instructs couples to leave and cleave in order to become one flesh. This is not possible if the adult children do not separate in a healthy way from their parents. The parents may or may not be trying to hang on, but the results can be the same.

When adult children maintain a dependence on their parents after marriage, it interferes with the husband wife relationship. Even when it is disguised as asking for advice from a parent it can cause a division between the couple. If the wife looks to her father for help in making decisions, the husband can feel totally disrespected. He may feel that he (the husband) is not the primary male figure in the marriage.

Likewise if the husband is overly close with his mother the wife is unable to assume the role of nurturer and the number one woman in his life. This is especially true if the couple is living with the parents. This keeps them still in the role of a child.

When adult children receive money from their parents the help often comes with some sort of "strings" attached. This may be overt or covert. Maybe nothing is even said about it.

When parents disapprove of the "in-law "adult child, it puts their child in the middle between the parents and their spouse. The adult child's allegiance should always be to their spouse; number one after the Lord.

A case in point would be when Mary's parents are speaking disrespectfully about Mary's husband Tom behind his back. Rather than defending Tom, Mary should explain to her parents that it's not ok to talk about Tom that way. If Mary's parents continue, Mary should walk away.

If Mary's parents are disrespecting Tom in front of him Mary should get between her parents and Tom and boldly say, "If you continue talking about Tom this way, we will leave."

It is important for couples to keep their "marriage business" private. They should not be discussing their marital issues with their parents, family or friends.

These discussions should be limited to their Pastor, Christian Counselor, or one trusted friend that both spouses' agree on.

We recommend the book "Boundaries in Marriage" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

As the Bible says in Genesis 2:24, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Of course this applies for women as well.

In our Marriage Counseling practice, Marriage Rescue Associates, we regularly see couples who need help restructuring the family dynamic in order to "leave and cleave".

God's Blessing on your marriage. Let it be healthy and happy.

About Marriage Rescue Associates | Christian Marriage Counseling

With over 23 years of experience, Marriage Rescue Associates have discovered many effective methods for helping couples restore their family and marriages. As Christian Marriage Counselors, Marriage Rescue Associates can help construct solutions to rekindle love and rebuild trust that has been torn down by endless conflict, indifference, and unmet needs.

Don't let your marriage or family become another statistic when you can actually do something to change it.

Seek out Marriage Counseling from an experienced Marriage Counselor that understands your situation and makes you feel comfortable with them.

To learn more about Marriage Rescue Associates, visit us online at www.marriagerescue.org


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