Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in St. Paul.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
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There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
Counselling Service in St. Paul – What Support They Provide
We all have problems in our life. Especially, when it comes to marriage, every married relationships faces tough situation. During such tough times we may ended up in a hot discussion or quarrel with our partner or spouse. The situation could be big or small, but when things get out of control many of us give up and decide to end the relationship. Most of us don't even realize that there is still a hope to save the precious relationship, to save the precious marriage. Out of many such possible solutions to save the marriage is to seek a professional relationship therapist or marriage counselor who can give an expert marriage counseling advice that can really help to strengthen the relationship bond between the two couples.
Most of the people find such services slow and expensive. However, that's not a true story. Marriage counseling advice certainly proves to be efficient and effective to regain and maintain the healthy relationship. The counseling sessions are taking by a professional relationship counselors or relationship therapist who are licensed and have gone through an extensive array of training for providing relationship advice. They have years of experience and are trained to be in a neutral manner throughout the session, ensuring to help couples to solve their conflicts in the healthiest manner.
All the couples who faces tough situation in their relationships should consider of seeking marriage counseling advice at least for once. Almost every couple who undergoes through the marriage counseling (taken by a professional therapist) is given a hope to bring back their happy relationship.
If you want to seek for a professional relationship advice, there are certain things that you should remember.
- Ensure to seek a professional and certified relationship therapist / marriage counselor. If possible than make a background check about the years of experience that your counselor is having.
- You should be open and ready to share your problems to your marriage counselor / relationship therapist.
- You and your partner both should be willing to share communicate and listen to each other.
A lot of couples feels insecurity and are afraid to reveal their emotions to the counselor. This should not be. Remember that a professional marriage counselor or relationship therapists are licensed. They have gone through years of extensive training on how to deal with couples and remain in neutral manner throughout the counseling sessions. Most importantly, they are bound to keep the secret and are trained to provide effective advice in the healthiest way.
Besides, there are many online couples networking websites providing effective marriage counseling advice to the couples. Such a professional couples networking website is equipped with a professional team of relationship therapists and is focused to unify and strengthen the relationship bond between the couples.
Understanding Marriage Counseling
This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.
It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.
Stage One: Listening
Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.
Cerebral understanding is not enough.
Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.
This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.
Stage Two: Exploratory Listening
When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.
The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.
If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).
This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.
Stage Three: Doing Different Things
Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.
The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.
At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.
Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".
If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.
You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.
This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.
This process is almost entirely about listening.
The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.
Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.
With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.
More Information and Resources about Marriage Family Therapist
Wikipedia : Marriage Family Therapist St. Paul, Alberta
CNN : St. Paul, Alberta