Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Vernon.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
Is Marriage Counseling Needed? a Case Scenario
There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
Counselling Service in Vernon – What Support They Provide
Marriage counseling retreats help troubled married couples in their quest to make their partnership work. These retreats are usually conducted for a period of 3 to 5 days where only the couple and therapist are present to talk about the failing marriage. Problems are dissected and analyzed and in the end, it is the therapist's goal to resolve these issues with the couple. The couple has to be open to the idea of counseling and must be participative and honest in the discussions. They have to be willing to talk things out and learn to accept all the faults and mistakes that would be laid out in the open.
One of the issues behind a rocky union is infidelity. It causes depression, pain, panic, confusion, distrust, and low self-esteem. In marriage counseling retreats, the therapist will guide the couples to let out these pent-up emotions, accept them, and eventually, move on from them. A program of action is designed for the couple to follow so as to heal completely and happily face the future together.
Marriage counseling retreats are more effective than the usual weekly or monthly psychotherapy counseling because it involves a longer time and commitment of the counselor. The therapy is more intensive and structured, thus the root of the issues behind a failing marriage is extracted and deeply analyzed until the couple gets a thorough comprehension of these issues. Understanding the cause of the problem will allow acceptance and an action plan of change.
Unbelievably these marriage counseling retreats can repair badly-damaged unions and rekindle the love that was lost. It is not only the marriage that is being dissected but the individual personalities are analyzed so that both partners will understand their own selves more. It is not only a journey to reconciliation but also a journey to finding one's true self. It is not only about developing the couple as partners but it is also about nurturing each other's own identities.
The foundations of a marriage are most of the times threatened by external factors. Pride, infidelity, work, children, household concerns and even friends can add to the stress a married couple experience. Both partners have to be willing to make the marriage work on their own so as not to involve other people. But if they feel they cannot resolve it alone, they must make sure they see a skilled person to help them patch up. In this case a marriage counselor is the best person to be with.
Christian Counselors in the Church - Partners in Caring
This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.
It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.
Stage One: Listening
Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.
Cerebral understanding is not enough.
Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.
This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.
Stage Two: Exploratory Listening
When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.
The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.
If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).
This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.
Stage Three: Doing Different Things
Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.
The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.
At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.
Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".
If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.
You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.
This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.
This process is almost entirely about listening.
The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.
Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.
With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.
More Information and Resources about Counseling Services
Wikipedia : Counseling Services Vernon, British Columbia
CNN : Vernon, British Columbia