Marriage And Family Counselor in Ladysmith British Columbia

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Ladysmith.

family and marriage therapy

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

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There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Ladysmith – What Support They Provide

The film ordinary people is a film that depicts a family that is struggling socially due to some psychological problems that the members of the family are going through. The film depicts Conrad as a boy who is going through psychological problems due to an accident which occurred while he was sailing with his older brother Buck who died. The boy is also going through problems as his mother and father do not show him the love as they used to show his brother. He decides to go to see a psychiatrist. His mother has a disagreement with him for going to tell Dr Berger matters that she thought were supposed to be private matters. His father also struggles to connect with him in his depression. He regains some optimism when he falls in love with Jeannie but then the situation worsens due to the murder of Karen. He is advised by the Psychiatrist to understand his mother the way she is. The mother also has a problem as she isolates herself from the rest of the family including her husband Calvin who finally confronts her. In this confrontation, the mother decides to pack her belongings and leaves the family. When Conrad realizes that his mother has left, he blames himself and that causes the father to rebuke him. The father finally calms down and they are in a position solve their differences and they finally start working together so as to understand the reason as to why the mother behaved so towards them.

There are different types of theories that are used in a counseling session. Different theories are applicable to different situations or different cases. In the above case, the strength based theory would apply well in counseling Conrad's mother and father. This is a theory which focuses on showing the client the positive side of his or her life. This is done by guiding the client in the reflection of the past, present achievements or success. These successes are the ones that the client is supposed to use to face the challenges in his or her life. The main aspect in this theory is positive thinking (Sharry 2004).

There are many factors that contribute to mental health and psychological distress. There are social and biological factors. Traumatic injury of the brain usually causes mental disorders or heightens the risk of having mental distress, substance abuse which causes damage or dysfunction of the brain, viral infections, failure of the neurotransmitters systems to function properly and etc are some of the biological factors.  Social factors include life experiences that are stressful, rejection from close associates, some cultural features and abuse or financial problems. For these factors, the role of the counselor will be first to identify the cause of the problem if the problem and whether it requires medical interventions. Afterwards, the counselor should advise the client accordingly. If the problems are social, then the counselor is supposed to guide the client on the mechanisms to reduce stress over the problems and try to take another more constructive view of the problem. As I had earlier mentioned, the best intervention is making the client reflect on the successes in life and start working from there in solving the problem (Corey 2007).

There are values that are necessary for the counselor. As a counselor, I am supposed to try and build a strong relationship with the client. This should be done by giving an understanding that is empathetic which will make the client to have a compassionate understanding. There is supposed to be a show of genuiness and congruency. Then there is need to show the client respect because of the pain and suffering he or she is going through and also provide the client with hope for the future (Sharry 2004).

One of the strengths of the theory is that there is emphasis on the positive aspect of solving problems without minimizing them. This theory also helps the client in recognizing their abilities in solving the problems they are going through and also help them to put the solutions in practice. It encompasses a show of respect, security and puts more insights. However on the other hand, the theory can kill careers on the areas where one does not perform well. Sometimes it also becomes difficult to concentrate on successes. Sometimes the negatives assist in coming up with a positive perspective. It may not be so practical to do away with failures in life (Perdeson 2007).

The strength based theory would be applicable in counseling of Conrad's parents. This would work by showing them that they should be happy that Conrad survived the accident. They should also be reminded about the happier days that they have lived and loved each other in the past so that they can apply what they used to do then to their life now. It would also be good to make them appreciate their son as there are many people who would have liked to have a son but they do not and also appreciate the fact that despite what their son is going through, he can find a girl to love him. The goal of the therapy would concentrate on making the two find something to enjoy in life (Oren 2009). The best method to evaluate the therapy is for one to find out whether the parents are living happily together and also find out whether the parent's treatment of the son has improved. The limitation of this approach would be making the family forget the past and current challenges despite the fact that the challenges may appear again in future.

In conclusion, this theory can work very well with those clients who are having problems that have come out due to them filling their minds with a lot of negativity. It would help them to have a positive perspective in their lives.

References

Corey, G. (2007).Theory and practice in group counseling, Cengage learning

Perdeson, P. (2007).Counseling across cultures, SAGE publications

Oren, Z. (2009).Counseling fathers, CRC press

Sharry, J. (2004).Counseling children, adolescents and families: A strength based approach.

From Cary and Crystal Lake, IL: How Anger Destroys Families and How Counseling Can Help

This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.

It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.

Stage One: Listening

Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.

Cerebral understanding is not enough.

Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.

This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.

Stage Two: Exploratory Listening

When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.

The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.

If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).

This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.

Stage Three: Doing Different Things

Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.

The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.

At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.

Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".

If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.

You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.

This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.

This process is almost entirely about listening.

The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.

Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.

With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.


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