Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Biggar.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
Understanding Marriage Counseling
There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
Counselling Service in Biggar – What Support They Provide
In Christian homes when the husband does not assume his Spiritual Leader role a vacuum forms and often the wife is forced into being the leader. This is uncomfortable for the wife since God did not give her that responsibility. It can create a great deal of resentment in both the wife and also the husband who can interpret this as “control”.
When the wife is forced into filling this role it can often lead to being the leader in many other ways. Now there is real danger of inappropriate balance of control in the home.
In our Marriage Counseling practice we see this situation often. We are presented with couples that are not filling the roles that they were designed to fill. When we speak with the wife who is perceived as controlling by her husband, she often tells us that she would give anything to “get off the throne” and follow her husband, but he just won’t lead.
What can she do? What can he do? The first step is to understand who God has called us to be. God has called the husband to be the “servant leader” in the home, even going so far as to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ laid down His life for the Church. We see many husbands who would step in front of a bus for their wives but neglect to protect their wives in the day to day business of life.
There may be a number of reasons why he is not “stepping up to the plate” as leader. Oftentimes we see passive men marry more outgoing and active women. The man’s passivity becomes a serious problem in these relationships. He stays in his comfort zone, not realizing or caring what this is doing to the relationship. In this case, it is important for the wife to step aside and not lead; even if things fall through the cracks. The husband cannot fill a role that is already filled. He cannot lead if she is leading. It may seem very scary, but it is absolutely necessary to let him fill the role.
It may also be that she has always felt like she is the one who should be in control, thinking her husband as incapable of leading. It is particularly important for her to turn over the reins to her husband.
Sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the wife. Some men are just so passive that it would never dawn on them to be the leader. In this case it may require counseling from your Pastor or Marriage Counseling from a Christian Marriage Counselor.
So, what should the husband do? After realizing and understanding that this is his God given role, he will need to confront the fear of operating in the unknown. His job is to make sure that he understands who is in Christ. There are many good books written on this subject. God gives us the Grace to do what He calls us to do, so the husband is able to lead.
There are practical things that a Spiritual Leader does. He makes sure that he has his own personal time with God on a daily basis. That he “talks” with God on a regular basis. This includes more than just speaking to God (what we normally call praying) but listening as well. He himself needs to be strengthened before he can successfully lead others.
He is responsible for making sure he and his wife spend joint time with God. This can include Bible Study, prayer, attending a Church that fulfills both of them and making sure the whole family is included if there are children in the home.
He is also responsible for protecting the home from any outside bad influences or spiritual attacks.
He can also see that he and his wife become active in a small group at their Church. This will help surround the couple with fellow believers who are like minded and are there for each other.
This may seem like a big job, but God never gives us a job too big for us to handle.
We pray that your marriage fulfills God’s calling and that both you and your Spouse search out what God has in store for you. If you both are close to God, you will be close to each other.
Finding The Right Family Therapist
The world is reeling under a host of problems, which, if allowed to fester, can bring about the destruction of nations and cultures. Drug addiction, terrorism, mal nutrition, poverty, sickness etc are the major threats to our well being, but comparatively lesser evils like non-compatibility in marriages and the resultant break-ups also can bring about the ultimate social downfall.
The importance of sustained marriages need not be overemphasised here. Like almost all problems faced by us, marriage related problems are also curable. It is easier said than done because marriage is the bringing together of two individuals with different mind sets, tastes and attitudes. At the marriage ceremony, the priest or the conductor tries to drive into the minds of the partners the necessity for adjustments and realignments in order to achieve a blissful married life.
Breaking up of families affects the children more than the adults. Such negative occurring creates an indelible mark on the impressionable minds of youngsters, thereby affecting their outlook towards married life. As a society, we attach great importance to living with the same partner through our lives, but many of us fail to achieve this desirable goal.
It is the realities in life that cause rift between husband and wife. In some cases, the partners are able to sort out everything amongst them, but in most occasions, they neither have the patience nor the inclination to work towards an agreement. In such cases, marriage family counselling by an expert is the only way out.
It is a fact that in many cases, such marriage family counsellors have actually succeeded to stop divorce. They try to drill into the heads of the warring parties that marriage is a journey together and conscious efforts need to be taken to make it a successful journey. The most common reasons for break-ups are infidelity by one or both partners, lack of understanding on issues affecting them, breaking up of communication channels, long distances in between and emotional abuse such as neglect. In some cases, it is just boredom that drives the partners apart.
Many marriages fall apart due to the lack of knowledge about professionals in the field of saving marriages. Experienced marriage family counsellors have actually mended fences, even in severe cases. The only stepping stone for many couples is the reluctance to enlist such professional help.
Couples can refer to marriage supporting tools like books and CDs brought out by well known marriage family counsellors to find ways to sort out problems. Attending marriage fitness camps, where the couple is made to interact with counsellors for long periods, may also help. Marriage fitness camps comprises of one-to-one phone sessions where both partners are counselled individually, with or without the presence of the other partner. Question and answer sessions, seminars and homework assignments (which should be completed by the partners together) are also part of such attempts to bring about peace between partners. E-mail sessions run by counsellors can also help to stop divorce.
A novel idea is the marriage fitness tele-boot camp where study and action material are delivered to your address. This is the best marriage counselling method where one of the partners is unwilling to get counselled in the presence of the other.
More Information and Resources about Relationship Counseling Center
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