Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Watrous.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
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There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
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In our Marriage Counseling Practice we often see couples whose In-Laws are causing problems in the marriage. Whether it is too close, or not close enough, In-Laws can turn into Out-Laws very quickly.
The problems don't always begin the same way. Sometimes there has been no "individuation" (becoming separate) on the part of the adult children. The Bible instructs couples to leave and cleave in order to become one flesh. This is not possible if the adult children do not separate in a healthy way from their parents. The parents may or may not be trying to hang on, but the results can be the same.
When adult children maintain a dependence on their parents after marriage, it interferes with the husband wife relationship. Even when it is disguised as asking for advice from a parent it can cause a division between the couple. If the wife looks to her father for help in making decisions, the husband can feel totally disrespected. He may feel that he (the husband) is not the primary male figure in the marriage.
Likewise if the husband is overly close with his mother the wife is unable to assume the role of nurturer and the number one woman in his life. This is especially true if the couple is living with the parents. This keeps them still in the role of a child.
When adult children receive money from their parents the help often comes with some sort of "strings" attached. This may be overt or covert. Maybe nothing is even said about it.
When parents disapprove of the "in-law "adult child, it puts their child in the middle between the parents and their spouse. The adult child's allegiance should always be to their spouse; number one after the Lord.
A case in point would be when Mary's parents are speaking disrespectfully about Mary's husband Tom behind his back. Rather than defending Tom, Mary should explain to her parents that it's not ok to talk about Tom that way. If Mary's parents continue, Mary should walk away.
If Mary's parents are disrespecting Tom in front of him Mary should get between her parents and Tom and boldly say, "If you continue talking about Tom this way, we will leave."
It is important for couples to keep their "marriage business" private. They should not be discussing their marital issues with their parents, family or friends.
These discussions should be limited to their Pastor, Christian Counselor, or one trusted friend that both spouses' agree on.
We recommend the book "Boundaries in Marriage" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
As the Bible says in Genesis 2:24, therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. Of course this applies for women as well.
In our Marriage Counseling practice, Marriage Rescue Associates, we regularly see couples who need help restructuring the family dynamic in order to "leave and cleave".
God's Blessing on your marriage. Let it be healthy and happy.
About Marriage Rescue Associates | Christian Marriage Counseling
With over 23 years of experience, Marriage Rescue Associates have discovered many effective methods for helping couples restore their family and marriages. As Christian Marriage Counselors, Marriage Rescue Associates can help construct solutions to rekindle love and rebuild trust that has been torn down by endless conflict, indifference, and unmet needs.
Don't let your marriage or family become another statistic when you can actually do something to change it.
Seek out Marriage Counseling from an experienced Marriage Counselor that understands your situation and makes you feel comfortable with them.
To learn more about Marriage Rescue Associates, visit us online at www.marriagerescue.org
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In Christian homes when the husband does not assume his Spiritual Leader role a vacuum forms and often the wife is forced into being the leader. This is uncomfortable for the wife since God did not give her that responsibility. It can create a great deal of resentment in both the wife and also the husband who can interpret this as “control”.
When the wife is forced into filling this role it can often lead to being the leader in many other ways. Now there is real danger of inappropriate balance of control in the home.
In our Marriage Counseling practice we see this situation often. We are presented with couples that are not filling the roles that they were designed to fill. When we speak with the wife who is perceived as controlling by her husband, she often tells us that she would give anything to “get off the throne” and follow her husband, but he just won’t lead.
What can she do? What can he do? The first step is to understand who God has called us to be. God has called the husband to be the “servant leader” in the home, even going so far as to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ laid down His life for the Church. We see many husbands who would step in front of a bus for their wives but neglect to protect their wives in the day to day business of life.
There may be a number of reasons why he is not “stepping up to the plate” as leader. Oftentimes we see passive men marry more outgoing and active women. The man’s passivity becomes a serious problem in these relationships. He stays in his comfort zone, not realizing or caring what this is doing to the relationship. In this case, it is important for the wife to step aside and not lead; even if things fall through the cracks. The husband cannot fill a role that is already filled. He cannot lead if she is leading. It may seem very scary, but it is absolutely necessary to let him fill the role.
It may also be that she has always felt like she is the one who should be in control, thinking her husband as incapable of leading. It is particularly important for her to turn over the reins to her husband.
Sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the wife. Some men are just so passive that it would never dawn on them to be the leader. In this case it may require counseling from your Pastor or Marriage Counseling from a Christian Marriage Counselor.
So, what should the husband do? After realizing and understanding that this is his God given role, he will need to confront the fear of operating in the unknown. His job is to make sure that he understands who is in Christ. There are many good books written on this subject. God gives us the Grace to do what He calls us to do, so the husband is able to lead.
There are practical things that a Spiritual Leader does. He makes sure that he has his own personal time with God on a daily basis. That he “talks” with God on a regular basis. This includes more than just speaking to God (what we normally call praying) but listening as well. He himself needs to be strengthened before he can successfully lead others.
He is responsible for making sure he and his wife spend joint time with God. This can include Bible Study, prayer, attending a Church that fulfills both of them and making sure the whole family is included if there are children in the home.
He is also responsible for protecting the home from any outside bad influences or spiritual attacks.
He can also see that he and his wife become active in a small group at their Church. This will help surround the couple with fellow believers who are like minded and are there for each other.
This may seem like a big job, but God never gives us a job too big for us to handle.
We pray that your marriage fulfills God’s calling and that both you and your Spouse search out what God has in store for you. If you both are close to God, you will be close to each other.
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