Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Fernie.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
Marriage Counseling Retreats: A Haven of Hope
There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
Counselling Service in Fernie – What Support They Provide
In Christian homes when the husband does not assume his Spiritual Leader role a vacuum forms and often the wife is forced into being the leader. This is uncomfortable for the wife since God did not give her that responsibility. It can create a great deal of resentment in both the wife and also the husband who can interpret this as “control”.
When the wife is forced into filling this role it can often lead to being the leader in many other ways. Now there is real danger of inappropriate balance of control in the home.
In our Marriage Counseling practice we see this situation often. We are presented with couples that are not filling the roles that they were designed to fill. When we speak with the wife who is perceived as controlling by her husband, she often tells us that she would give anything to “get off the throne” and follow her husband, but he just won’t lead.
What can she do? What can he do? The first step is to understand who God has called us to be. God has called the husband to be the “servant leader” in the home, even going so far as to lay down his life for his wife and family as Christ laid down His life for the Church. We see many husbands who would step in front of a bus for their wives but neglect to protect their wives in the day to day business of life.
There may be a number of reasons why he is not “stepping up to the plate” as leader. Oftentimes we see passive men marry more outgoing and active women. The man’s passivity becomes a serious problem in these relationships. He stays in his comfort zone, not realizing or caring what this is doing to the relationship. In this case, it is important for the wife to step aside and not lead; even if things fall through the cracks. The husband cannot fill a role that is already filled. He cannot lead if she is leading. It may seem very scary, but it is absolutely necessary to let him fill the role.
It may also be that she has always felt like she is the one who should be in control, thinking her husband as incapable of leading. It is particularly important for her to turn over the reins to her husband.
Sometimes it has nothing at all to do with the wife. Some men are just so passive that it would never dawn on them to be the leader. In this case it may require counseling from your Pastor or Marriage Counseling from a Christian Marriage Counselor.
So, what should the husband do? After realizing and understanding that this is his God given role, he will need to confront the fear of operating in the unknown. His job is to make sure that he understands who is in Christ. There are many good books written on this subject. God gives us the Grace to do what He calls us to do, so the husband is able to lead.
There are practical things that a Spiritual Leader does. He makes sure that he has his own personal time with God on a daily basis. That he “talks” with God on a regular basis. This includes more than just speaking to God (what we normally call praying) but listening as well. He himself needs to be strengthened before he can successfully lead others.
He is responsible for making sure he and his wife spend joint time with God. This can include Bible Study, prayer, attending a Church that fulfills both of them and making sure the whole family is included if there are children in the home.
He is also responsible for protecting the home from any outside bad influences or spiritual attacks.
He can also see that he and his wife become active in a small group at their Church. This will help surround the couple with fellow believers who are like minded and are there for each other.
This may seem like a big job, but God never gives us a job too big for us to handle.
We pray that your marriage fulfills God’s calling and that both you and your Spouse search out what God has in store for you. If you both are close to God, you will be close to each other.
Christian Counseling Versus Secular Counseling
Are there different types of Christian counselors?
Yes, There are many different types of Christian counselors. Gary Collins wrote the first article on the different types. When he first wrote his article he identified five basic categories which are still, for the most part recognized today.
Main Stream Counselors: These counselors receive training known as CPE or Clinical pastoral Education training. These individuals are educated as pastors receiving a complete theological education. When they decide to become counselors they go through a secular training program. Because they have a religious background they are able to integrate the drastically different secular education into their previous religious education
Main Stream Counselors have been criticized for being too liberal. They often negatively view conservative evangelical theologians. They believe that the conservative counselors cause people to steer away from Christian counseling due to the fear that they will be judged and condemned for their behavior. Main Stream Counselors want people to feel that it is OK to be imperfect and that we are all humans, what matters most is that we try to live our lives for God and recognize when we fail. Rather then be condemned for failing they believe that being supportive can help the person avoid failure later on.
Evangelical Pastoral Counselors: These counselors use a counseling theory outlines that the bible is the only foundation of all counseling. These counselors are confrontational, that is, they are very blunt, to the point, and have no problem pointing out when you are at fault for your problems. They take an educational approach to counseling, by the time you are finished with counseling you will have a greater scriptural knowledge to guide your future decisions.
Christian Professionals: The father of Christian counseling Clyde Narramore falls into this category. As does James Dobson, founder of focus on the family, and an outstanding author. These individuals have received a purely secular education and generally, possess state credentials or licensure. These individuals choose to keep their roots in biblical evangelical theology despite their secular background. These counselors have to find ways for integrating their psychological knowledge and skills with biblical truth.
Theoretician Researchers: This group is comprised primarily of university professors. They take a scholarly, scientific approach. As the name implies they work extensively on researching, developing and testing new theories and techniques. These counselors do not necessarily "work in the field" unless their research requires them to do so. Their education is almost always secular, unless they are university professors at a private religious university.
Evangelical Popularizers: This is the set of Christian counselors, who use their education to write self-help books, put together marriage seminars, help youth leaders develop action plans to help troubled youth etc. These counselors aim to help ordinary people who want to help themselves.
The five categories of counselors were identified in 1975 and are still recognized to this day. There have been some changes within each category. For example the evangelical counselors have started to move away from clinical pastoral education in favor of a secular education.
Within the last decade the evangelical pastoral counseling and Christian professional counseling approach has been widely adapted by seminaries. The seminaries have started many masters and doctoral programs that provide an equal mix of theology combined with counseling, therapy, psychology, and marriage and family therapy.
There is a massive and heated debate over the mingling of Christian theory with psychology. One side argues that Christianity and psychology are not compatible at all while others argue that they are completely compatible. Some counselors are somewhere in the middle, and the number of individuals in this category seems to be growing substantially each year.
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