Family Counselling Service in Victoria British Columbia

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Victoria.

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In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

10 Common Myths About Counseling

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Victoria – What Support They Provide

This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.

It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.

Stage One: Listening

Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.

Cerebral understanding is not enough.

Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.

This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.

Stage Two: Exploratory Listening

When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.

The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.

If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).

This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.

Stage Three: Doing Different Things

Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.

The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.

At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.

Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".

If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.

You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.

This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.

This process is almost entirely about listening.

The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.

Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.

With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.

Seek Marriage Family Counseling Before You Decide on a Divorce

It's common for people to have hesitations about seeing a counselor, due to many misconceptions about therapy. Learning the truth, and dispelling the myths, will make you more comfortable in reaching out for counseling.

Myth #1: Counseling is only for "crazy people."
Truth: Counseling can be helpful for everyday problems, which everyone faces at some point in their life. This may include poor communication with a partner or child, stress at work, difficulty sleeping, or just feeling sad. Any life changes, big or small, can cause stress, and it can be helpful to have someone to talk to for support and guidance.

Myth #2: Counseling is only for people who are weak.
Truth: It takes a great deal of strength and courage to admit you need some help. Seeking help is a sign of mental health, not weakness. It shows that you are ready to take control of your life. Counseling will help you identify strengths you already have and improve on them to make life more manageable.

Myth #3: My problems aren't serious enough for counseling.
Truth: Counseling can often be helpful when you have a decision to make, if you are feeling lonely, if you had a bad day at work. If something is causing you stress, worry, sadness, or anxiety, it is serious enough for counseling. If something is important to you, that makes it important enough for counseling.

Myth #4: My problems are too big for counseling.
Truth: Experienced counselors will be able to help you sort through years of problems. Counseling can help you explore past experiences and teach you how they affect your behaviors and thought patterns today. Years of trauma will not be fixed with a few sessions, but if you are committed to therapy long-term, it will help.

Myth #5: Someone who doesn't know me can't help me.
Truth: Counselors are often better helpers than family and friends, because they will provide objective feedback. Counselors have training in human behaviors and recognize patterns that people close to you may not.

Myth #6: Counseling will be a quick fix for my problems.
Truth: Counseling can be a lengthy, in-depth process. One session is not typically enough to make lasting change. Counseling is difficult work for the client and often brings up emotions that were being withheld. It is important that you are dedicated to continuing with counseling in order to make change possible. Moreover, it is not a counselor's job to fix you, rather to give you insight and help you reach your goals.

Myth #7: People will know I'm seeing a counselor and will think differently of me.
Truth: All counseling sessions are confidential, so unless you choose to tell others you are seeing a counselor, no one will find out. Talk to your counselor about your preferences for being contacted, including their ability to leave messages on phones and where you prefer to receive mail. Be sure that your counselor reviews the limits of confidentiality with you at your first session.

Myth #8: I don't want to lie on a couch and be analyzed.
Truth: Although commonly seen in the movies, this is not typical of most counseling sessions. Counselors' offices are comfortable, relaxed settings. Couches may or may not be present, and the client always has the option to sit or lie down. Therapists are not there to analyze you and find out what is "wrong" with you, rather their job is to help you identify areas for change.

Myth #9: One hour per week isn't going to help.
Truth: One hour per week is adequate time with your counselor; however the work doesn't end there. With your counselor, you may develop "homework," or things you will work on during the week before your next session. You must be willing to extend your experience into your daily life in order to see positive change.

Myth #10: I've tried counseling before, it doesn't work.
Truth: Not every counselor is well-suited for any individual. Perhaps your previous counselor was not a good match for you. Perhaps you were not fully committed to the process at the time. Spend time researching counselors before choosing one. It is important to find a counselor who has experience with the issues you are facing.


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