Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Calgary.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
Understanding Marriage Counseling
There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
Counselling Service in Calgary – What Support They Provide
You may think about counselling when you are in a particularly difficult point in your life but what is counselling?
A counsellor will see you in a confidential and private setting, perhaps in your GP surgery or in private rooms. In the sessions a client will be able to discuss and explore personal difficulties, any distress they may be suffering or general dissatisfaction with life and purpose. Specific examples could be for relationship difficulties, family problems or bereavement.
By speaking and by being listened to, you, the client may begin to see things in a different way. You could see things from another point of view. Counselling can enable you to see a clearer path through your confusion. No counsellor will give advice or persuade you to take a particular course of action, there are no judgments, counselling is there to help you to take some control back over your life.
A counselling session will enable you to explore what might be happening to you and your feelings. We often experience feelings that we have felt unable to discuss with our loved ones and counselling can allow us you to understand those pent up emotions such as anger, grief or anxiety. A counsellor will encourage you to express those feelings and help you find some resolution for yourself.
By attending some counselling sessions, a mutual understanding and trust often develops which can help you to examine areas of your life that may not have occurred to you before. That understanding can also allow you to do some in-depth exploration of situations that you have found difficult and to make some small changes as a starter to allowing bigger changes as you develop options which may help you to decide what course of action or behaviour is best for you.
There are different forms of counselling and there are some cross over's between those. Those could be person centred, psychodynamic or cognitive to give you a few examples. Given that there are different techniques and approaches you may find it useful to talk to your counsellor in the first session to decide if the particular model they adopt will be one that you can engage with. Therapists have different training depending on what technique they use and some may have a specific approach to particular issues like eating disorders, addictions etc. A therapist may have trained specifically in one model but incorporate different techniques from others if they feel it might prove beneficial to a client.
Counsellors usually work for a mutually agreed period of time per session. This will usually be limited to 50 to 60 minutes per session in order that the therapist and you can maintain both energy and focus to get the most out of each session.
You can be assured that confidentiality is the bedrock of the counselling relationship and an essential part of trust. However there are situations when that is not an absolute. A counsellor is under a public duty to act in the public interest if there is serious risk of imminent harm to their clients or to others and they may need to make a referral to another agency in those circumstances. This is something that your counsellor will discuss with you in the first session when you agree the contract between you.
Whatever your issues, you will find that a counsellor will agree a contract and the boundaries of your relationship in your first session. That framework should cover dates and times of sessions, how and when there can be contact and that the relationship will be a professional one, your therapist is there to help you, they will not be a personal friend. You may find that your counsellor offers you a written contract outlining those factors. This should be welcomed by you as the first stage on your journey.
What Is Counselling?
This is a simple three stage approach to counseling. This process is for when someone comes to you with a problem or wanting to talk about something. It is for the 'normal neurotics like you and me", not for dealing with people with serious psychiatric conditions.
It avoids giving advice (a trap for any counseling approach). If you stick to this approach you will do no harm and will probably do much good.
Stage One: Listening
Listening means understanding the content and the feelings that go with it.
Cerebral understanding is not enough.
Never make a statement that defines the issue or the other person's feelings; ask instead. Not, "You're feeling . . . " but instead, "Are you feeling . . ? ". Not, "The issue is . . ." but instead, "You think the problem is . . ." or, "The way you see it is . . . ". At this stage it may be enough to say "uh-huh" or nod your head.
This stage ends when the person starts talking about the issues behind the problem. You will know you have done well when you get agreement to your suggestions of what the issue is and the feeling behind it.
Stage Two: Exploratory Listening
When the person talking to you feels heard they will move on to deeper things. At this stage you can start asking exploratory questions. Asking if they have felt this way before; What they have tried to do in similar situations - whether it worked or not; Whether there are other thoughts and feelings that are going on for them. You can, if you see something clearly, offer observations of what you see. Things like, "You seem happy/sad/angry . . ." and so on. Even here it is probably better to ask a question than to make a statement.
The critical issue at this stage is to stay in touch with their feelings at the depth they are feeling them.
If you can't do this, let them know; don't fake it. You can something like, "Sorry, I can't handle this right now." They will appreciate this more than pretending (and they'll always know if you are just pretending).
This stage ends when the issue is seen differently, a new insight is achieved.
Stage Three: Doing Different Things
Once they see things differently they can start to do things differently, or at least plan to.
The temptation when anyone comes to you with a problem is to try and jump to this stage immediately. This is a mistake. What is needed is the time to explore what is going on and to see it in a new way.
At this stage you can make suggestions of what has worked for you.
Don't get trapped into playing "Yes, but . . .".
If they give reasons why your suggestions won't work, don't argue. Instead, ask what they have tried, why it didn't work, and what they can do differently this time.
You may want to organize that they can check in with you so that they monitor how they are going with their new way of doing things.
This stage ends when they try out new behaviour with you or when they have a plan of the new behaviour they want to try with others.
This process is almost entirely about listening.
The other person always knows more about their own situation than you do.
Never offer advice about what they should do. In the third stage you may wish to say what has worked for you if you have dealt with a similar issue yourself.
With a little practice you can get quite good quite quickly at this process. You may well become someone people come to 'for advice'. As long as you do stick to this process, and don't offer advice, you will do much good and help many people.
More Information and Resources about Licensed Counselor
Wikipedia : Licensed Counselor Calgary, Alberta
CNN : Calgary, Alberta