Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Kelowna.
In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.
Advantages Of Marriage Counseling
There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.
Counselling Service in Kelowna – What Support They Provide
Marriage counseling gives people a chance to work out issues with their partners whether it be their boyfriend or girlfriend or their spouse. This process is also referred to as couples counseling. Marriage counseling gives couples the tools to improve their relationship and to learn how to better relate to one another.
Marriage counseling should be done by a licensed counselor who has a certification in marriage and family counseling. These counselors do pretty much the same as any other counselor but they focus on helping couples.
In most cases, couples only need to meet with a marriage counselor a few times to work out their problems. Couples who are having more severe problems can attend marriage counseling for several months, though. Marriage counseling usually occurs on a weekly basis.
Marriage Counseling Can Help Everyone
All couples have issues that they need to work through. Each person has different beliefs, ambitions, values and wants different things from their lives and this can cause conflict. If you learn how to work together, though, there does not have to be conflict because of your differences. Couples can learn to appreciate their partner's unique views and ways of looking at things and this can actually strengthen your relationship.
At times, though, the things that make you and your partner unique can cause problems. The habits and quirks that you found cute in the beginning of the relationship can start to drive you crazy. Relationships can start to suffer if there is a traumatic event such as one partner cheating on the other. The relationship may also suffer if the couple starts to drift apart and starts to fell like they aren't connected anymore.
Regardless of what the reason for the problems in your marriage, it is very stressful and upsetting to be dealing with them every day. A lot of people ignore their problems and think they will just get better over time. The truth is the problems will probably get worse over time and cause more distress and even depression. The people around you can feel the tension when you are having marriage problems and you can even have trouble focusing at work because of the problems.
Marriage counseling can help couples overcome a variety of problems including the following:
A partner who has had an affair
Talk of divorce
Drug or alcohol abuse
Dealing with physical or mental illness
Gay and lesbian issues
Loss of a job
Step family issues
Issues with your sex life
Different opinions on raising children
Major life changes like retirement
Marriage Counseling and Domestic Violence
In some cases, marriage counseling can be helpful for couples dealing with domestic violence issues. If the violence has gotten to the point where you are afraid that you or your children will be seriously hurt you should seek help from the police or an organization dealing with domestic violence like a shelter. Marriage counseling by itself may not be enough to help in a relationship with domestic violence issues.
Marriage Counseling to Avoid Problems
Not all couples who enter marriage counseling do so because they have issues that need to be dealt with. Sometimes marriage counseling is used to strengthen a relationship and help prevent issues from arising in the future. Marriage counseling can also help couples deal with issues before they even get married. Going to marriage counseling before getting married helps couples figure out how to work through the differences that are bound to arise in their marriage.
What Happens in Marriage Counseling?
Marriage counseling gets both people in a relationship in the same room to talk with the counselor. The counselor attempts to help the couple understand what is causing their problems and work on ways to better deal with the problems. Both the people in the relationship get to share their views of what is going on, both good and bad, in the relationship.
Through marriage counseling, couples will learn how to work together. The counselor will teach the couple communication skills and help them learn how to disagree in a healthy way. If there are serious issues causing the problems in the marriage like drug or alcohol abuse or mental illness than other specialists might be brought in to help resolve those issues.
Talking about your problems and issues in marriage counseling is sometimes difficult. You and your partner may find yourselves sitting quietly and refusing to speak to each other because you are so angry. Or you may find yourselves having a huge argument right there in the counselor's office. The marriage counselor is there to intervene and help you calmly discuss issues without implying that either of you are right or wrong.
Marriage counseling can make a difference in your marriage in a very short time. In some cases, though, marriage counseling may make you and your partner realize that you really do not belong together.
If your spouse or partner won't consider going to marriage counseling you should think about going alone. Obviously, marriage counseling is more effective if both partners attend but if you go alone you can learn how you can make a difference in the marriage by changing some of your behaviors and thought patterns.
The decision to attend marriage counseling is not usually an easy one but it is well worth the effort. Marriage counseling is a much better way to deal with issues in your marriage than hoping they go away on their own.
Counseling - A Three Stage Process
The strongest contributor to individual character development is the family unit. You may have spent years trying to change, eliminate, or copy the influence of certain members of your family unit-consciously or unconsciously.
Consequently, if anger is part of your familys culture, you have probably noticed that it tends to spread itself to future generations. The wider it has spread, the more difficult it is to contain.
Take a look at the way members of your family relate with one another. Is there a hurtful and biting anger present? Remember, our earliest experiences communicating, problem-solving and relating to others occurs within our nuclear family. Unfortunately, patterns of anger in these relationships are then recreated in later relationships and subsequent family systems.
Fortunately, counseling and an expert treatment plan can eliminate the damage of having lived in an angry or abusive family unit.
How Dysfunctional Anger Destroys Relationships
Anger is a very common destroyer of relationships. Couples, however, often underestimate or minimize its impact by sometimes reporting that it is this anger that makes the relationship feel alive. A very dangerous notion.
How does irrational anger start? It grows in relationships which are insecure and where open communication is absent. The emotion of love then becomes buried beneath years and years of hostility and resentment. In these relationships, helplessness often exists in the present and anxiety and fear overwhelm thoughts about the future.
The news is not all bad, however. The good news is that if you are motivated to take part in marital or family therapy you can be rewarded with new optimism and hope.
The following are tips on how to limit destructive anger in your relationships:
1. When you feel angry, mentally evaluate your feelings. Ask yourself if you are over-reacting or jumping to conclusions.
2. Particularly, if you have nothing to lose, start by giving others the benefit of the doubt. Ask yourself if you have taken something too personally or over-reacted.
3. Move to higher ground; get a broader perspective. When you feel resentment building, talk your feelings over with a loved one and get additional feedback.
4. If certain relationships are repeatedly fraught with anger, assess whether or not you should stay in them.
5. If your anger feels out of control and/or mysterious and particularly, if the relationship is important, consider family or relationship counseling.
How Do I Know If a Family Member Has an Anger Problem?
Most of the time angry individuals are aware that they have problems controlling anger. Unfortunately, many of them come to accept that their anger is unchangeable, a fixed aspect of their personality and feel hopeless to to do anything about it. If you wonder whether you or a loved one may have an anger problem, look for several of the following symptoms:
1. Becoming inappropriately angry in response to mild frustration or irritation.
2. Experiencing painful feelings of guilt or regret over something that you have said or done in a fit of anger.
3. The existence of repeated interpersonal conflicts that result from angry outbursts (legal problems, arguments, damage to property, school or work suspensions, etc.)
4. Family and/or friends approaching or appealing to you to control your anger.
5. Having chronic physical symptoms which are generated or exacerbated by too much anger, such as high blood pressure, gastrointestinal difficulties etc.
Where do I Seek Help for an Anger Problem?
Mental health professionals are very responsive to those who seek treatment for anger dysfunction. Referrals to treatment professionals and services are available through The American Psychological Association, The American Counseling Association and The National Association of Social Workers.
You may feel shame or guilt about your anger issues and these problems can actually change the lives of you and your loved ones, for the worst. Therefore, it is critical to consult with a counseling or mental health professional who has many years of experience in anger management training.
What Kind of Treatments are Available for My Anger Disorder?
The most common approaches to anger management problems include the use of individual and family therapies. These therapies help one to become aware of specific triggers and thinking processes which lead to chronic anger and demonstrate how to think productively, rather than irrationally.
Individual therapy explores the root of angry feelings and behavior in a counseling format that includes only one client. This counseling approach helps the individual to focus on the most important emotions causing his or her excessive anger.
Family therapy is a powerful and comprehensive way of repairing the damage caused by longer-term expressions of hurtful anger. Chronic anger commonly alienates family members from each other, resulting in strained communication. It can also cause members to be overly involved with one another in a very dysfunctional way.
Family therapy considers each members role in the dysfunction rather than just pinpointing one person.
How Marriage and Family Therapy Help
Marriage and family therapists, psychologists and mental health counselors are trained in how to identify anger patterns that pass from generation to generation. Identifying these patterns through counseling helps each client to explore his or her perceptions, prejudices and misunderstandings about the appropriateness of certain types of anger.
For example, when parents reflect on how emotions were expressed in their nuclear families, subsequent family members begin to understand the family's inherited concepts about anger and how to correct them.