Marriage And Family Counselor in Ladysmith British Columbia

Sometimes a person might have some trauma, memories, or patterns that create unhealthiness in their behavior, and in their lives. As such, they might need the help of qualified professionals who are trained to help this person get to the bottom of their emotional problems. These professionals are also able to help a person create strategies for new and healthy coping tools. These professionals are called counselors. They offer professional counseling service in Ladysmith.

marriage counseling help

In order for a person to become and to offer counseling service, they have to first take classes in social issues, psychology, and other courses dealing with people skills, and in conflict resolution. It’s important to keep in mind that those who offer counseling service aren’t psychologist. They aren’t medical professionals, although a psychologist can counsel people. A professional counselor works exclusively to help people solve their live issues, and their emotional issues.

Counseling Theory

There are many types of issues that can be manages, and even resolved with professional counseling. These issues can include phobias, smoking cessation, people skills, self-esteem, and other issues dealing with one’s emotions. Life issues that can be helped with counseling service can include grief, life changes, public speaking, and family services. Sometimes, a romantic couple or a married couple might find that they need counseling service. There could be major issues that might cause the demise of the relationship. There could be issues with respect or boundaries in the relationship. Sometimes a couple might want a mediator, because they need a neutral party to help them work through disagreements. As such, couples counseling is a very popular form of counseling service. This type of counseling has done a lot to save relationships, marriages, and families.

Counselling Service in Ladysmith – What Support They Provide

It's common for people to have hesitations about seeing a counselor, due to many misconceptions about therapy. Learning the truth, and dispelling the myths, will make you more comfortable in reaching out for counseling.

Myth #1: Counseling is only for "crazy people."
Truth: Counseling can be helpful for everyday problems, which everyone faces at some point in their life. This may include poor communication with a partner or child, stress at work, difficulty sleeping, or just feeling sad. Any life changes, big or small, can cause stress, and it can be helpful to have someone to talk to for support and guidance.

Myth #2: Counseling is only for people who are weak.
Truth: It takes a great deal of strength and courage to admit you need some help. Seeking help is a sign of mental health, not weakness. It shows that you are ready to take control of your life. Counseling will help you identify strengths you already have and improve on them to make life more manageable.

Myth #3: My problems aren't serious enough for counseling.
Truth: Counseling can often be helpful when you have a decision to make, if you are feeling lonely, if you had a bad day at work. If something is causing you stress, worry, sadness, or anxiety, it is serious enough for counseling. If something is important to you, that makes it important enough for counseling.

Myth #4: My problems are too big for counseling.
Truth: Experienced counselors will be able to help you sort through years of problems. Counseling can help you explore past experiences and teach you how they affect your behaviors and thought patterns today. Years of trauma will not be fixed with a few sessions, but if you are committed to therapy long-term, it will help.

Myth #5: Someone who doesn't know me can't help me.
Truth: Counselors are often better helpers than family and friends, because they will provide objective feedback. Counselors have training in human behaviors and recognize patterns that people close to you may not.

Myth #6: Counseling will be a quick fix for my problems.
Truth: Counseling can be a lengthy, in-depth process. One session is not typically enough to make lasting change. Counseling is difficult work for the client and often brings up emotions that were being withheld. It is important that you are dedicated to continuing with counseling in order to make change possible. Moreover, it is not a counselor's job to fix you, rather to give you insight and help you reach your goals.

Myth #7: People will know I'm seeing a counselor and will think differently of me.
Truth: All counseling sessions are confidential, so unless you choose to tell others you are seeing a counselor, no one will find out. Talk to your counselor about your preferences for being contacted, including their ability to leave messages on phones and where you prefer to receive mail. Be sure that your counselor reviews the limits of confidentiality with you at your first session.

Myth #8: I don't want to lie on a couch and be analyzed.
Truth: Although commonly seen in the movies, this is not typical of most counseling sessions. Counselors' offices are comfortable, relaxed settings. Couches may or may not be present, and the client always has the option to sit or lie down. Therapists are not there to analyze you and find out what is "wrong" with you, rather their job is to help you identify areas for change.

Myth #9: One hour per week isn't going to help.
Truth: One hour per week is adequate time with your counselor; however the work doesn't end there. With your counselor, you may develop "homework," or things you will work on during the week before your next session. You must be willing to extend your experience into your daily life in order to see positive change.

Myth #10: I've tried counseling before, it doesn't work.
Truth: Not every counselor is well-suited for any individual. Perhaps your previous counselor was not a good match for you. Perhaps you were not fully committed to the process at the time. Spend time researching counselors before choosing one. It is important to find a counselor who has experience with the issues you are facing.

Understanding Marriage Counseling

The strongest contributor to individual character development is the family unit. You may have spent years trying to change, eliminate, or copy the influence of certain members of your family unit-consciously or unconsciously.

Consequently, if anger is part of your familys culture, you have probably noticed that it tends to spread itself to future generations. The wider it has spread, the more difficult it is to contain.

Take a look at the way members of your family relate with one another. Is there a hurtful and biting anger present? Remember, our earliest experiences communicating, problem-solving and relating to others occurs within our nuclear family. Unfortunately, patterns of anger in these relationships are then recreated in later relationships and subsequent family systems.

Fortunately, counseling and an expert treatment plan can eliminate the damage of having lived in an angry or abusive family unit.

How Dysfunctional Anger Destroys Relationships
Anger is a very common destroyer of relationships. Couples, however, often underestimate or minimize its impact by sometimes reporting that it is this anger that makes the relationship feel alive. A very dangerous notion.

How does irrational anger start? It grows in relationships which are insecure and where open communication is absent. The emotion of love then becomes buried beneath years and years of hostility and resentment. In these relationships, helplessness often exists in the present and anxiety and fear overwhelm thoughts about the future.

The news is not all bad, however. The good news is that if you are motivated to take part in marital or family therapy you can be rewarded with new optimism and hope.

The following are tips on how to limit destructive anger in your relationships:

1. When you feel angry, mentally evaluate your feelings. Ask yourself if you are over-reacting or jumping to conclusions.

2. Particularly, if you have nothing to lose, start by giving others the benefit of the doubt. Ask yourself if you have taken something too personally or over-reacted.

3. Move to higher ground; get a broader perspective. When you feel resentment building, talk your feelings over with a loved one and get additional feedback.

4. If certain relationships are repeatedly fraught with anger, assess whether or not you should stay in them.

5. If your anger feels out of control and/or mysterious and particularly, if the relationship is important, consider family or relationship counseling.

How Do I Know If a Family Member Has an Anger Problem?

Most of the time angry individuals are aware that they have problems controlling anger. Unfortunately, many of them come to accept that their anger is unchangeable, a fixed aspect of their personality and feel hopeless to to do anything about it. If you wonder whether you or a loved one may have an anger problem, look for several of the following symptoms:

1. Becoming inappropriately angry in response to mild frustration or irritation.

2. Experiencing painful feelings of guilt or regret over something that you have said or done in a fit of anger.

3. The existence of repeated interpersonal conflicts that result from angry outbursts (legal problems, arguments, damage to property, school or work suspensions, etc.)

4. Family and/or friends approaching or appealing to you to control your anger.

5. Having chronic physical symptoms which are generated or exacerbated by too much anger, such as high blood pressure, gastrointestinal difficulties etc.

Where do I Seek Help for an Anger Problem?

Mental health professionals are very responsive to those who seek treatment for anger dysfunction. Referrals to treatment professionals and services are available through The American Psychological Association, The American Counseling Association and The National Association of Social Workers.

You may feel shame or guilt about your anger issues and these problems can actually change the lives of you and your loved ones, for the worst. Therefore, it is critical to consult with a counseling or mental health professional who has many years of experience in anger management training.

What Kind of Treatments are Available for My Anger Disorder?

The most common approaches to anger management problems include the use of individual and family therapies. These therapies help one to become aware of specific triggers and thinking processes which lead to chronic anger and demonstrate how to think productively, rather than irrationally.

Individual Therapy

Individual therapy explores the root of angry feelings and behavior in a counseling format that includes only one client. This counseling approach helps the individual to focus on the most important emotions causing his or her excessive anger.

Family Therapy

Family therapy is a powerful and comprehensive way of repairing the damage caused by longer-term expressions of hurtful anger. Chronic anger commonly alienates family members from each other, resulting in strained communication. It can also cause members to be overly involved with one another in a very dysfunctional way.

Family therapy considers each members role in the dysfunction rather than just pinpointing one person.

How Marriage and Family Therapy Help

Marriage and family therapists, psychologists and mental health counselors are trained in how to identify anger patterns that pass from generation to generation. Identifying these patterns through counseling helps each client to explore his or her perceptions, prejudices and misunderstandings about the appropriateness of certain types of anger.

For example, when parents reflect on how emotions were expressed in their nuclear families, subsequent family members begin to understand the family's inherited concepts about anger and how to correct them.


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